fight for her life
by twilightmamaof3
Summary: DISCLAIMER: dont own twilight. what if edward dint come back for 3 years. What if she is with an abusive jake. How will edward save her before jake kills her? A/n: being fixed
1. Chapter 1

**chapter#1:**_** don't move**_

_Bella_

i sat writing in my journal. Its the only way i had to express my feelings about missing Edward after 3 years i still had not gotten over him. But i was engaged to Jake now god how he had changed since he had become a werewolf. We lived in la push in his dads house his dad having passed away last year. I loved Jake but not how he wanted me too. I only excepted the engagement cause he would have killed me if i hadn't. Bang! Oh no Jake was home from his meeting with SAM and from the slam of the door i could tell it dint go well. I jumped up stashing my journal inside a crack under the bed in the floorboard. Just as he came banging into the room. His breath was heavy with the smell of boos."What the hell do you think your doing?" he snapped at me. "i was..." i began but a sharp blow to my face shut me up sending me into a heap onto the bed.

"Did i say you could fucking talk?" he spat at me. "No..Jake i..i..im sorry" i stuttered.

Jake walked over pushing me down holding my hands above my head. "No...no Jake please no." Jake looked livid. "I dint ask for your opinion now did i?" "Please Jake" i said trying to squirm out of his grasp, that earned me a punch in the mouth. Jake let my hands go. My hands went to my mouth i could taste the blood. I knew there was no since in fighting it cause if i did Jake would just beat me to a pulp in his drive to get some. "Now your going to behave arnt you?" Jake sneered. I just nodded my head tears streaming down my face as Jake ripped my clothes from me. And taking his sweat pants off. He slammed into me hard a sob escaping my lips. He smiled he loved when i was in pain. He kept slamming into me with all his strengh i could tell he was ripping me again but if i said anything he would explode. So i just kept my hands tightly over my mouth. Tears coming down like rain. When he was done he got up pulling his pants up. " I cant wait to have you round with my child again" He said rubbing my stomach. And walking from the room. I had been pregnant by him last year before his father died but when his father passed he went into a rage throwing me into walls kicking and punching me. I had lost our daughter at 7months pregnant and i vowed never to have that happen again so I was now on birth control not to his knowledge. I walked into the kitchen starting dinner for him. He came up behind me grabbing my shoulder an squeezing making me flinch. "don't worry about dinner im going out with the guys tonight" he said. " oh...OK" i replied. He eyed me with suspicion. Last time he had left me alone i had tried to run away he caught me, beating me so bad i was in the hospital for a week. Just then he grabbed the phone quickly dialing a number it rang twice when a deep male voice answered. "Hey SAM" Jake said into the receiver. "Ya im still on for tonight"..."hey man can you have Emily come babysit Bella?"..." K thanks man" he hung up the receiver. I gave him an innocent look as he turned around cursing him in my head with every filthy word known to man. "Emily will be here in ten minutes i will leave when she gets here so nothing funny got it bitch?" He said grabbing my hair."Yes" i replied.

_Edward_

I sat in my room in the rocking chair esme had gotten me to remind me of my love. I had not seen Bella in three years and it broke my heart everyday. I froze as i heard a sob come from downstairs and my beautiful bellas name coming from alices mouth. I rushed down stairs to see Alice starring into space sitting on the couch everyone standing around her. I pushed my father away so i could get to her shaking her "What is it Alice?" I shook her more roughly "Dam it Alice" Three firm male hands drug me away from her. Alice came back into reality. "Bella..." she said again looking as if she would cry if she could. "What Alice, what about Bella" I screamed at her still held back by my father an brothers. Alice looked at me. "She's with sams Emily..I can see her now she is crying and and..." She couldn't continue but i saw it in her head. Bella was sitting on the floor by Emily but she wasn't my beautiful Bella she was bruised and battered a cut down the middle of her lip her left eye swollen shut. "What the fuck!" I screamed making my hole family jump from my outburst. " Who?" I asked her. Her hands covered her face "Jacob black" was all she said falling in a heap onto the couch. Jasper rushed to Alice looking confused i felt a wave of calm go through the room. "OK someone fucking explain" Emmett barked. I looked at him then at Alice finally settling my gaze on esme and Carlisle. Carlisles hand reached to my shoulder. "What is it son?" he asked. My face was frozen i dint know what to say. Esme came up sitting me onto the chair sitting herself onto the arm. I shook my head trying to get the picture of my broken Bella out of my head. "Its OK dear tell us" esme whisper. I looked up to her "its Bella" I stated. "I think we got that part" Emmett chuckled. I went to get up i wanted to smack the shit out of Emmett but i was being held back by Carlisle,rose and esme. "Shut the fuck up an ill fucking tell you" I snapped at him.

Emmett looked down. But Alice was the one to answer. "Bella's hurt badly" she whisper " he beat her and and... raped her." It was Emmett turn to look angry "WHO?" he shouted. "Jacob black" i answered. I looked around at my family Alice was back into a sobbing heap on the couch jasper rubbing her back but looking to stunned to do anything else. Emmett was clenching his fists Rose trying to calm him down but looking upset as well. But the faces that shocked me were my parents i had never seen them so angry. " Where is she?" carlisle asked. "In la push she is living with Jacob there there...engaged" Alice answered. my heart broke a little more if that were even possible this man ,this kid had been given the greatest gift. My angel, an he chose to abuse her what the hell was he thinking. "We have to go help her." jasper said. I looked at him wanting the same thing. " But the treaty.." carlisle started, "FUCK THE DAM TREATY" Emmett yelled. Alice gasped before any of us could respond to Emmett. " She's running away tonight...i see her on the road heading out of forks...then..." Alice stopped sobbing again. I broke away from my family again to shake her once more. "What Alice? then what dammit?" i yelled. " It goes black" she said through a sob. I jumped up along with all the guys an we ran to carlisles car. We lived in Seattle now it would be a bit of a drive but alices vision was when it was dark we still had about an hour tell the sun completely set.

_**Bella**_

Jake pulled my hair kissing me hard. Then pushing me into the counter where i hit my left eye. Running out the door when Emily entered he said "Ill be back around 10". I slumped to the floor sobbing hard. Emily's gentle hand brushed my hair out of my face an gasped at the extent of the damage. "He's gone little one" Emily said soothingly. I lifted my head looking her full in the face she sniffled another gasp. "Why do you stay Bella?" she asked wiping a tear from my face. I looked at her like she had just asked the dumbest question know to man. "You know why i stay" i quipped back at her. She nodded then something dawned across her face. " Its 7 pm Bella" she said with a slight smile playing on her face. "Thanks for the time" i sneered getting up to go lay on mine an jakes bed pushing my head into the pillow and screaming. Emily sat beside me rubbing gentle circles on my back, i flinched from the bruise Jake had left under my right shoulder. "He's going to end up killing you" Emily whisper. "So!" i snapped looking back up at her "Whats it matter to you" i dint care if i upset her i was to pist off to give a shit. "Bella your family to me ,like a sister.." she started, i opened my mouth to make a rude comment but she put her hand up to tell me to let her finish. "like i said Bella your like my sister i care about you an Jake dousnt deserve you." She took a deep breath to continue " Why i was telling you the time is because Jake wont be home entail ten." she smiled at me edging me to understand. I looked at her with confused eyes. "Jeez Bella you have to leave." she snapped standing up "now im going to take a hot bath for a few hours because you are asleep" she winked at me. Comprehension finally dawned on my face. I did need to leave i Have wanted to for over a year now but Jake would never let me an charlie had moved in with sue so i had no place to go. She smiled. "Leave Washington Bella get the hell out of here i love you" she said wrapping me into a gentle hug and walking out of the room into the bathroom shutting the door. I sat there stunned for a minute. Then making my decision i jumped up taken my back pack from under the bed throwing random clothes in it. And running out the front door, I kept running tell i was out of la push stopping to check my watch it was 8pm so i kept running it would be dark in 30 mins to an hour i had to keep running, i tripped often scraping my knee and my palms but i got up and kept just running tell I couldn't breath i started walking when i was on the forest road out of forks. wrapping my arms around my chest i was freezing and trying to keep myself together the hold in my chest from Edward was hurting like hell.

"Oh Edward i wish you were here..." Just then something jumped out of the trees and into me knocking me to the ground. I glanced up Jake was on top of me with a large pocket knife in his hand. "..You?" he asked a punch hitting me in my stomach every time he spoke a word. tears streamed down my face. "So you wish that filthy bloodsucker was here huh?" he asked slapping me across the face. "yes" i stated matter of factually. That earned me another blow to the stomach counseling me to spit blood up. " Well maybe this will teach you." He snarled just as he said that many things happened at once. A car skidded to a halt about 20 feet in front of us, the pocket knife jammed in my stomach and Jake took off. That's when everything went black. With the voice i had missed for 3 years calling my name. I was dead an i knew it.

_**Edward**_

We sped down the road at 110mph it still wasn't fast enough. Darkness fell once we reached the border line saying we were now in forks. My phone wrang it was Alice i picked it up quickly (what could have gone wrong now?) "Edward he's gonna kill her if you don't get to her fast!" Alice said panicked. Carlisle heard and sped up. Not even 10 seconds later we came to a stop 20 feet in front of two figures. It was Bella she was laying on the ground and Jacob was punching her. He had a silver object in his hand. "NO!" carlisle, me ,jasper and Emmett all yelled unison. Jumping outa the car just as the silver blade punctured her skin. And he took off. "BELLA!" i screamed. no, no please not my Bella. I ran over to her placing my hand over the wound in her stomach. Carlisle, jasper and Emmett came to Bella's side. Carlisle leaning down his medical training kicking in. But i wouldn't move i growled at him when he tryed to touch my Bella.. Carlisle gave me a sympathetic look. I slowly moved my hand the sleeve of my white shirt covered in Bella's blood if i could have cried i would be covered in tears. Carlile tore Bella shirt off it made me jump at him. I was gonna tear his throught out. Jasper and Emmett grabbed me from behind. Carlisle not even looking at me. " She's losingto much blood she is going to die if we don't work fast" carlisle wisperd. I fell to my knee's."change her!" Emmett bellowed. I gave him a filthy look before looking back at carlisle. "Will she make it to the hospital?" i asked. Carlisle looked at me gravely.


	2. ill kill him!

_**chapter2:**__** ill kill him**_

_**Edward pov:**_

"_will she make it to the hospital?"_

carlisle looked at me gravely. "Yes but we must go now" he said picking Bella up. I rushed into the backseat with Emmett, where carlisle layed a bleeding Bella on my lap. "Put pressure on the wound!" carlisle said quickly, Getting into the car an speeding off toward the hospital. I was seething at the sight of my broken Bella. "I'm going to rip his fucking head off!" I snarled. Jasper turned to look at me from the front seat. A wave of calm hit me but i resisted it. "DONT!" i snapped at jasper. Carlisle looked at me in the rear view mirror with a weak smile. "I know your angry son we all are but..." (i snarled at his but) "...let me finish son. What i was going to say is right now we need to make sure Bella makes it that's our top priority." I looked at him letting jasper's calm go through me, if i could cry i would be hysterical right now.

"Ya then we can go play puppy hunt" Emmett boomed. We all kinda snickered carlisle nodding his head. "I wouldn't mind a dog head to put upon my wall" Emmett added under his breath.

Just then we pulled up to forks e.r. Carlisle ran at vampire speed to open my door an grab Bella. "Her pulse is dropping" he said sadly. Running to the emergency room door at an extreme human pace. The lady at the reception started talking before she looked up "How may i help..." her quistian was cut off when she looked up to see carlisle holding Bella's limp form. Me, carlisle and Emmett covered in Bella's blood.(it dint seem to bother any of us). " Oh my god!" she said shocked running into the back room we heard her panicked voice talking to the dr's. "We have an emergency situation out here we need 3 units of blood, a gurney and as many dr's as you can spare" "What happened?" one of the dr's asked following her out laying his eyes on Bella. It was .

"Carlisle what happened?" he asked as two nurses took Bella onto a gurney and we started walking into a private room. "Stab wound, maybe some broken bones and internal bleeding." carlisle replied. I snarled under my breath. "I'm sorry but you guys can not come back here, maybe you should call chief swan" said. I was about to object but carlisle put his hand on my back leading me to the waiting room where we sat. I put my head in my hands as my tearless sob hit the air. "I should have never left her" i sobbed "its all my fault". "Calm down my son it is not your fault who were we to know this would happen" carlisle crooned rubbing circles on my back.

Carlisle looked at jasper and Emmett "Take him home" i looked up to tell him i wasn't going anywhere but he put his hand up to stop me "get the house ready, this is going to be hard enough for charlie without knowing where all back." I nodded my head and me,jasper and Emmett walked out the door towards the car.

_**carlisle pov:**_

I watched as my sons left, dreading what was to come. Slowly i got my cell phone out. And dialed the police station, not sure if chief swan was working or what. "Hello forks police station chief swan speaking" my heart sank knowing what i had to do next. "Hello, chief swan this is carlisle cullen" i said quietly. " "Oh wow i haven't heard from you in a while how are things?" he asked. "Well charlie not so good, you see i have came back to forks, um...im at the hospital...and Bella is here." i finished wiping my forehead. The phone went silent for a moment, if i hadn't heard his breathing i would have thought he hung up. "Whats wrong with Bella?" he asked both panicked and angry. This is what i had been dreading. "Charlie she has been stabbed and is now in critical care" All i heard was charlie gasp and the receiver being hung up.

That's when i heard the sound, had my heart been beating it would have stopped. I heard a heart monitor from Bella's room flat lining. Not caring if i got into trouble i ran at near vampire speed into her room. "Don't you dare die on us Bella" i growled starting chest compressions. After 20 minutes of that her heart monitor started beeping again and she gave a little cough just as 1 Dr an 3 nurses rushed in.

_**Bella pov**_:

I wasn't sure where i was. I was hoping i wasn't dead. Was death this painful? Everything around me was black i started walking into the blackness. only to see a light i started walking towards it slowly. Just then i heard my name called by a sweet voice and felt myself being dragged back into the darkness all over again. No! i needed light. The darkness surrounded me once again but this time i was aware of my outside surroundings. I coughed. Dam that hurt! Then i heard the sweet voice again...is that carlisle...no it couldn't be...could it?

"Don't you dare die on us Bella" he growled. Us did he just say us? who else was here? Alice...esme...Edward? I wanted so badly to open my eyes an speak to tell him i was not going to and ask why he was here. And in fact where i was?

_**Edwards pov:**_

We raced home Alice esme and rose were there. "oh Edward have you seen her is she OK?" Rosalie asked. (Rosalie? caring about Bella?) I looked at her her mind was nothing but concern esme as well. As i looked at Alice i got a little frustrated she was singing 'barbie girl-by aqua'." What are you hiding Alice?" i snarled. Alice ignored me. Dam it this wasn't the time to fuck with me. I crouched into a spring. Jasper went to step in front of Alice. "Don't!" jasper snarled at me. Alice looked at jasper getting her attention off of that horrid song. When i saw it. It had not happen yet..._carlisle stood Bella, she was awake "they have to do a rape kit hon" carlisle tried to sooth her. Bella poor broken Bella looked beyond tears but also pissed. "I know who fucking raped me! Jacob black did! He has been for the past few years Everything, every god dam mark its...from...him!" she snapped sobbing at the end an slumping onto the bed. (end of vision)_

Everyone looked at me seriously concerned. "What was it?" the guys asked in unison. Apparently the girls were already filled in. That explained why Rosalie was concerned. She could never hate someone who went through the same shit she did."NO!" i said falling to the ground. Emmett and jasper came to my sides in a flash helping me up from under my arms. "Whats going on man?" Jasper asked. A dry sob escapes my chest. Jasper and Emmett looks up at Alice she looked down sadly explaining her vision.

"Ill fucking rip that son of a bitch limb from limb nobody touches my lil sister" Emmett snarled. "That mutts going to pay!" jasper stated with an evil grin.


	3. what dont kill you

_"that mutts gonna pay!" jasper statd with an evil grin._

**chapter#3: what dont kill you...**

**bella pov:**

They wanted to do a rape kit?! Do they think im lieing? wtf?! I had just screamed at the dr's telling them jake was the fucking rapest. And i also noticed carlisle was there. "give us a minute" carlisle said waveing the other dr's from the room. I was aboutto have a full blown panice the dr's an nurses left carlisle came over to me trying to lay his hand on my shoulder, i flinched stopped "im not going to hurt you bella" he frowned slightly. "w....w...why are y..you here?" i stammerd. "A.....am i d...d....dreaming?" I began to remember a song in my head 'sweet dream or a beautifull nightmare' i chuckled to myself. Irony.

Carlisle smiled at me slightly. "How are you feeling?" he asked. I eyed him suspiciosly ifi was dreaming i dint want my dam voice to shatter his angelic image. So i just rolled my eyes. How the hell did he think i felt?I was just raped an stabbed an beaten! Ok this is definitly a beautifull nightmare. Or mabe im dead? Shit my dads gonna be pist with a capital P. oh well at least if im dead im free of jake. While daydreaming i hadnt noticed carlisle step up to me laying his hand gently on my shoulder. I automatically started screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms. Carlisle held my arms down with one hand pushing the call button for help. I looked up at him in terror " NO!!!PL...PLEASE.....PLEASE DONT....PLEASE DONT HURT ME!!!!" Carlisle froze at those words "isabella i would never...no i could never do that to you..shhhh" he said as the nurse came in with a needle filled with what i guesed was sleeping meds. I started to back away i couldnt handle going back to sleep. Please dint they know if i go to sleep he could come take me. I wouldnt be able to fight nurse came closer my insticts kicked in i swung my foot out getting the nurse in the stomach she fell back the surenge flying out of her hands. cought it before it could hit the ground. And he helped the nurse to her feet (now holing her abdomen.) She gave me a filthy look. walking out the door. A silent tear ran down at my face carlisle turned to look at me. Walking towards me with the surenge. I kicked out again knowing it would be useless. "Isabella please your going to hurt yourself" dr. cullen stated holding my arms down by my side. "NNNNNNNNOOOOOO!!!" I screamed shakeing so badly my teeth were clattering. Just then the door swung open. Shocking both me and carlisle. Everything went black then i couldnt handle this. he couldnt be here. could he?

* * *

_OK PEAPLE IM FREAKEN STUCK ANY SUGGESTIONS?_


	4. dont go!

chapter#4: dont go!

_**edwards pov:**_

"NNoooooooooooo!!" i heard my angel scream from down the hall. I had to come back to the hospital i had to make sure she was alright. I heard her heart rate pick up to almost a hum as i ran at more then human speed ramming the door open to her room. My bella looked at me eyes wide with shock, fear, hate, love an mabe hope. Carlisle looked up at me also just as bella's fragile body went limp. Carlisle had a syrenge in his hand. I pushed him into a wall not thinking. "What the fuck are you doing dad?!" i snarled at him. He dint try fighting he just sighed. "I was going to sudate her edward" snarl "She was going to hurt herself she already injured a nurse" i hesitently let go of his shirt letting him stand on his own two feet. He lay the needle on the bedside table and ran his hand through his hair. "How is she?" i asked in a wisper so low he wouldnt have heard it if it hadnt been for our vampire sences. Carlisle looked up at me sadly. "Physically she will heal with time" ok thats good right? I thought he read my expression "yes thats the good news but the bad is emotionally i dont know edward." I stared at him in silence i had taken enough medical classes to understand what he meant i knew exactly what this kind of trama could do to a human. I remember being in the mental ward for one of my collage class asighnments i remember how a few patients who went through the same shit as bella would just sit in a corner rocking wispering nonsence to themselves not eating not liveing.

I gasped could that be what my bella is to become? I was cut short by a voice in the waiting room. "Where the hell is she i am her fiance i have a right to know!" he snarled (it was that fucking mutt) "im sorry" the nurse stated "but isabella is resting she is to have no visiters." He growled but calmed himself. "What happend to her?" he asked. I could hear the smirk in his voice as if he dint fucking know. I clenched my fist ready to go make a mud pie out of his fucking placed his hand on my shoulder _not here son..we will take care of it but not here not right now _ he thought at me. "I dont have all of the information you would have to talk to her dr." the nurse said shyley. Ha! I laughed in my head just wait tell he finds out who her dr is. "Who's her dr? I would like to speak with them" he sneered. Oh this should be good. Carlisle smirked slightly. "Um.." the nurse started i could hear her flipping through my bella's chart. " cullen, an he can be with you with in the hour" she stated. _what the fuck is that basterd doing back?! Fucking leaches are gonna get it. ok calm down jake if that mind readers here....grrr!! fucking leaches. "_Thank you but im gonna go do some erands" he said through his teeth. "Um..ill be back later" he stated adding on _and if that leach is here ill kill him and her i wont mess up this time. _In his head.

_**Bella's pov:**_

(_2 hours later)_

Ok what the hell just happend? I must be dead, what other explanation could be possible? Only in heaven could i see edward again. Or even carlisle for that matter. But wait if im dead why am i still in pain? Ok this is too wierd i need to figure out what the hell is going on.....wait hell..? Is this hell? No it couldnt be if so why would the cullens be here? I was already liveing in hell before this. If im alive then i have to know where i am. I have to get the fuck out of here before jake knows im here. Before he finds me an finishes what he started. At that thought my eyelids began to flutter and open. I was in the bright white room i looked around there were moniters all around me. Needles in my skin (ugh!) I felt the oxegyn under my nose. An god i ached. I also noticed i was in a hospital gown. Well fuck that makes this just a little embarressing. But that dont matter i have made up my mind i gotta get out of here now! Quik as possible i started ripping tubes and wires off of my body. My only thought 'escape'.

_beep beep beep beep._ Shit i had just released the heart moniter. The door burst open as i went to stand. I looked up it was jake. Oh no! Please please NO! "Jake i..i...i" i stutterd. " SShhh! there will be plenty of time to talk at home" he wisperd sootheingly but he had that evil glint in his eyes. He wasnt fooling me i had known him way to long had went through this shit to many times. Jake walked to me in two large steps grabbing my wrist an slightly twisting. I wimperd against the pain. He was breaking it i could tell." jake please...." i started, tears began to fall. As i said that the door burst open once again. Everything happend so fast one minute jake was grabbing me, the next he was to the wall by his throught by ed...ed...edward (i still had trouble with his name) carlisle beside him injecting jake with the same sleeping med as me before. Rosalie and esme grabbed a side of me and took me to the bed. My eyes were wide terrified, tears still streaming down my face. Rosalie was rubbing my hair gently hugging me wispering words of comfort in my ear. Rosalie? Ok now im confussed.

Edward let go of jakes neck as jake passed out slideing to the floor. Him an carlisle turned towards us. Edward started walking towards me hand out. I wimperd and flinched tucking my head in rosalies shoulder letting the sobs take me. Rosalie growled at edward "Get back!" she snapped at him. "Rose i..." he bagan but she cut him off with another fierce growl that sent shivers down my spine. Esme looked between rose an i and her husband and son before speaking, "Carlisle dear perhaps we could give rose and bella some time alone" I lifted my head a fraction. Just as edward started to object. Carlisle put his hand up. "Perhaps there right son" he wisperd "plus we must get this.... thing to another room" I slightly giggled at his term, they all looked at me rose smiled slightly beginning to rub my hair again. Edward nodded his head unwillingly i could tell he dint want to leave but i also could not ask him to stay i wasnt ready for that yet but for some reasen i was comfortable with rose being here.

Esme opened the door as carlisle and edward drug the dog into the hallway "he fainted" i heard carlisle explain to a nurse as the door shut leaveing me alone with rosalie. I looked into her face for some sort of tell tell sighn like there was no hate there like before, none at all. Just what looked to be love, understanding and severe sadness. Understanding? How could she understand any of this? Who the hell did blond bitch barbie think she was. I pulled away from her arms to glare at her. "what are you doing here rosalie?!" i slightly snapped. She looked back at me still no anger in her beautifull features. "Im here to help." she said silently. "HELP?!" i snapped back "HOW THE HELL CAN YOU HELP ME YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I HAVE WENT THROUGH AND EVEN IF YOU DO YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW I FEEL! SO DONT GIVE ME THAT THERIPUTIC MUMBO JUMBO BULLSHIT!" She sighed still not looking angry "I do know how you feel" she said softly. As i went to object she raised her hand "let me tell you my story before you continue please" I just huffed.

At that she told me all about her human life and how perfect it had been (i envied her) but then she told me what her fiance royce had done to her. So she did know how i felt. Under that hard bitchy blond mask of hers she was just as i am, damaged goods. I cant explain why but after she finished i felt closer to her then any of the other cullens. She looked as if she would be crying if it were possible. So i leaned in and hugged her, she returned the gesture. "Im so sorry rose, i dint know." i explained. She smiled slightly again pulling away so we could see eachothers face. "Its ok bella" She smiled at me. We spent the next hour or so just chatting. She told me what they had been up to after they had left and i told her what there leaveing had done to me (which she frowned at). "Ya know edward was the same way" she began. I looked at her confussed. Edward was the same way? But how? why? He dint love me anymore he told me that much before he left. "No he wasnt!" i stated bluntly "He left becouse he dint love me anymore he dint want me" It was her turn to look confused. So i explained what had happend that fatefull day in the woods when i thought my life was over and my heart had been ripped from me chest. When i was finished she shook her head (like trying to rid the image from it that i had just given her) "No" she said to me "He told you that becouse any other way you wouldnt have let him leave" i looked at her stunned so she explained how edward had left 'for my own good' and how he had been torn apart as bad...if not worse then....me.

How could this be. I wasnt good enough, god how i knew that. How could such a perfect being love me. Expeciolly now. All broken and used. "He loves you." rose stated gently. "He loves you more then his own life" and for the hundreth time today i broke down in tears. "I...i missed him so much...i couldnt live..wi...without him" i sobbed.

_**edwards pov:**_

I stood in the hallway as they carted that mutt off on a gerney. Unfortunitly still alive! I was far from bella's room but i could still hear her and rose talking. How much i envied rose. I hadnt wanted to leave my bella not again i vow never to hurt her again or leave her she had been put through enough pain in this fucking life to last a damn lifetime. Did that mutt think he was series did he really believe he was going to just take bella right back home to all the bullshit he put her through again? No, if he did he had another thing are back an we arnt going anywhere. Ever!

I sat on the hospital floor against the wall i could hear bella's sobs and i heard her yell at rose stateing i dint love her, she wasnt good enough. My god how she was wrong. I was the one that wasnt good enough. Sobs started wracking my body when rose began telling bella what i had done was sopposed to be for her own good and it hurt so bad knowing that what i had done had not helped at all it just hurt her more. I really was a monster!

I sat up straight listening again. "He loves you." rose told her gently. "He loves you more then his own life" that was more true then ever, this life, this existence was notheing without her. It hasnt been since the day i met her. "I...i missed him so much...i couldnt live...wi...without him" bella sobbed that made my dead heart break. And before i knew it i was up and walking back into bella's room. I needed her more then ever right now. I needed to comfort her i needed to tell her that never again would i leave. I was bound to her and i wouldnt leave her side i will give her whatever she wants. If she wanted to travel the world. she would. If she wanted her own theme park She would get it. Hell if she wanted changed i would do it.

Bella looked up at me tears streaming down her face. "Leave me with her" I told rose in a tone only she could hear. _she is not ready yet edward i wont make her more afraid then she already is, im not leaveing _rose thought to me. I growled softly angry but it made bella flinch so i stopped. "im sorry" i told bella. "Would you be ok if we talked bella? Alone?" i asked. Bella tilted her head to the side takeing me in not sure if she wanted to be alone with me, a man. I could see the fear that dog had put in her. Not only of him but all men. She looked at rosalie for an answer. Rosalie looked at me _can you behave? she is in a fragile state! _she thought. I nodded my head slightly so only she could see. "Um bella would you be ok? I will be right outside the door if you need me." Rose said looking at bella. Bella looked between me and rosalie a few more times before she nodded. Rosalie hugged bella. (thats gonna take some getting used to) "Itll be ok sis" rosalie said as she walked out the door _ill be listening _rose threaghtend with her thoughts. I turned back to bella with a smile. I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible with me.

_**bellas pov:**_

God i was alone with edward. If i said i was not scared i would be lieing big time. But i trusted rose to be true to her word. She would listen outside my room so i was ok. At that i looked up at edward as rose shut the door. My faverite crooked smile playing across his face, it made my heart melt i could feel the blush comeing to my cheeks. There was no pain just him, just me. The hole in my chest was gone as if it never excisted. It was really him. But what if he left again i would be notheing. At that i started crying harder. He slowly but swiftly came up to me and wrapped me in his arms. I dint flinch, i just let him hold me. If he did leave again i was going to die of heartbreak so i might as well make the best of it now.I burried my face in his shoulder takeing in as much of his sent as i could. God how i had missed that, his sweet sweet smell. I lifted my head up after about five minutes of crying I noticed i had stained his shirt with my salty tears. "sorry" I said to him. His head lifted quikley lookeing at me. I flinched from the quick movement but he just held me a little tighter saying it was ok. "What are you sorry for bella?" he asked me confussed by my statement.

I just looked at the puddle of tears soaked into his shirt. As if it wasnt obviese. He looked down at his shirt and shook his head rolling his eyes. "Isabella you never have to apolagize to me" He said soothingly. I couldnt hold it in any longer "Are you leaveing?" I asked he looked at me shocked but shook his head looking sadly, closeing his eyes not answering me. I knew it, he was leaveing again he just happend across me an saved me but he dint want me,he is leaveing again. "Bella!" he said panicked. I couldnt breath my body started feeling fuzzy my breathing comeing to quickley. My head was spinning. Rosalie and carlisle burst in the door at the same time rosalie rushed to my side putting her arm around me, pusheing her brother aside and supporting me "What did you fucking do?!" rose snapped at edward. Carlisle looked at me worried. "Bella breath!" he said firmly gently takeing my head in his hands looking into my eyes. "Breath" i tryed but i couldnt. No if he was going to leave no no no i couldnt do this i couldnt bear this! why? why would he come back just to leave me again?! Why dint he just let me die on the road why hadnt he just let jake finish me off. At least it would be quik and a hell of alot less painfull then what he was doing to me. WHoooosh! the air went out of my lungs not feeling them with oxegyn. Carlisle slid an oxegyn mask on my face just as i passed out again. Before i did i looked at edward again pleadingly "please" i begged "dont...go"

_**edwards pov:**_

She had apoligized to me? What the fuck? she hadnt done anything. When i asked her why, she just looked at me like i was stupid. And looked down at the wet spot on my shirt from her tears. Jesus, she was worried about my shirt are you fucking kidding me. "Isabella you never have to apolagize to me" I told her softly. Expeciolly for something so stupid as a fucking tear stain. She looked at me disbeleaveing. "Are you leaveing?" she asked out of no where. What?! she thinks im going to leave. God i had hurt her so badly. I closed my eyes and shook my head i couldnt look at her for a second. How could i tell her that i would never ever leave her again ever that i was here forever and her wish was my command. But what if she wanted me to leave? Could i? No i dont think i could. I will never leave her again. Just as i opend my eyes looking back at her to tell her i wasnt leaveing. Her face was panicked which made my words catch in my throught she was haveing a panick attack breathing to quickley the air wasnt even getting to her lungs. "Bella!" i yelled panicking myself how can i get her to calm down? Me saying her name dint even seem to come to her attention. Her eyes went out of focus."Rose get carlisle!" i said so just she could hear.

Next thing i knew they were both through the door looking at bella. Rosalie pushed me away from bella. Holding onto her and glareing at me as carlisle checked bella's moniters. "What did you fucking do?!" she snapped at me. What did i do? I shook my head not sure how to answer. "Bella breath!" carlisle demanded bella holding her fragile head between his hands. "Breath!" he said again. I could tell she was trying but not succeeding. She looked scared to death. Had i done that? The air still wasnt reaching her lungs i could see the slight vibration of her now slightly blue lips. She was going to pass out if she dint breath soon, very soon. Carlisle put an oxegyn mask on her. "Do something" i said to carlisle quickley. _she is going to pass out. But then she will be able to breath again. _he thought at me. Was he fucking seriese he was just gonna let my love faint an not help her. I growled at him bella looked at me scared still. Did she hear me growl? "Please" she breathed weakley." dont....go" At the last word her body went limp in rose's arms rose held her to her.

Is that what this was all about? she thought i was going to leave again? I really screwed up huh an it just kept getting better nice job dumb ass. I Said to myself.


	5. lets go home

_**chapter#5:lets go home**_

_**edwards pov:**_

(one week later)

I sat in the waiting room bella was asleep rose was sitting beside her. Rosalie never left her side since the fainting accident and we found out that bella was petrified that we were all going to leave. She hadnt even left to hunt. we had the cafeteria bringing meals up for her (that she would throw out). I felt a hand grasp my shoulder. I growled i was so deep in thought i hadnt seen or heard anybody come up to me i growled instinctively looking up. It was just carlisle. _Son jake is here, he wants to talk to bella._ He thought at me. What?! Hell no not after everything that filthy mutt did to my bella."NO!" i snapped at him. Carlisle looked torn. I could see he did not want this eather. "I have talked to bella about it, and beings we are takeing her home today well she would like to speak to him" WHAT?! why the hell would she. Has she really became crazy? "Well dont allow it carlisle!" I said to him as if a preschooler could have figured that out.

Carlisle shook his head. "I cant son, she has a right to see who she wants, as long as they are not a harm to her." He wisperd. As long as they were not a harm? He was a fucking harm. He is why she is fucking in here. What is wrong with these god damn peaple. Carlisle noticed the look in my eyes. "I know son but he hasnt attemted to really harm her since she has been here and the visitation is supervised" As if i dint know that. But a stupid ass nurse wasnt much protection from a newborn werewolf. If he wanted to take her he could. "We will have jasper and emmett stand not to far from the room son he wont hurt her" carlisle said soothingly. "I will be with them" i told him and walked off towards her room. The mutt was already there. "Its ok ill be fine rose" bella said to her. I heard a low growl escape rosalies lips she really hated that dog. "Ya, honey. Bells will be fine with me" jacob sneered. 'SMACK' And the door burst open rosalie walking out towards me emmett an jasper. I saw everything through that dogs mind. He went to grab rose's shoulder when he had sneered at her and rosalie slapped him across the face sending him staggering backwards. I saw the slight smile playing across bella's face. Oh how i wish i could read her mind. "you slapped him?" emmett was asking rose a grin on his face. Rose was trying to calm her breathing down. "He fucking deserved it" rosalie growled. Emmett looked up at me. " He did, he grabbed her arm" i told him nodding towards rosalie. Emmetts arms wrapped pertectively around her. He began growling, when jasper sent a wave of calm his way. I couldnt help the snicker that came through my mouth as i smelt blood and saw that rose had knocked one of the dogs teeth out. HA! Serves him right. I quitly told them what had happend when rose hit the dog. Obviesly they smelled the blood but was not sure of the reasen behind it. We all started laughing. "Good girl" emmett told rose slapping her on the ass. She grinned at him. We went back to listening.

_**bellas pov:**_

Rosalie wasnt happy when i told her i wanted to talk to jake alone. In fact she was rather pist. When jake walked in the room i thought she would full blown rip his head off. Not that i would have much problem with that. I just dint want them breaking that stupid treaty over me. "Its ok ill be fine rose" i said to her. She growled looking at jake. He just smirked. If he dint watch it he was going to end up walking out of here with one arm. "Ya honey bells will be fine with me" he said with double meaning it made me shudder. He reached to touch her arm. 'SMACK' Ha rose just smacked him across the face. Now thats funny. She looked at me telling me with her eyes she wouldnt be far. I nodded slightly as she walked out. I knew they wouldnt be far an they wouldnt let jake hurt me again. Thats the only reasen i felt ok talking to him. I was going to tell him that it was over, forever i never wanted to see him again. He regained his balance and looked at me.

I still had a smirk on my face as he spit a blood coverd tooth out. Hahaahhahaha! she knocked his tooth out god this was just getting better an better. He glared at me. My smile quickley fell. "You think thats funny?" he snarled at me makeing me flinch. But i nodded slightly. He lifted his hand as if to hit me but lowerd it with an evil laugh. He was such a dick. He loved seeing me scared of him."Its ok hun i will take care of you when we get home" he threaghtend.

I knew he meant it. I couldnt help but smile at that. Time to burst his bubble."Well jake thats why i wanted to talk to you alone" He just nodded. I took a deep breath. An continued. "Im not going home with you" his head snapped up at my words. "What did you just say?!" he snapped. "I said im not going home with you" I answerd again. He got in my face "Where do you think you are going to stay isabella?! I have everything of yours" he was litterally shakeing. "I dont care jake. Im not going back with you im going to stay with..." He cut me off grabbing my jaw."Dont you even think about saying the cullens" he sneered "You will go no where with those bloodsuckers i am your fiance" As he said that a nurse walked in smileing shyley. Jake dint continue his rant. "We will talk about this at home. I know your getting out at 2 today. So be ready" He threaghtend he really was determined to get me i felt brave. I could do this.

"Im not going home with you jake, I dont want anything to do with you, Your lucky i dint press charges from all this shit!" I snapped at him. He was shakeing. So i continued. "And i dont want to marry you i dont even want to see you ever again!!" I snarled, takeing my engagement ring off. it was engraved with a saying from him '_i will always be loyal' _He really is a mutt. Makeing himself sound like a damn golden retreaver. His hand swung back and hit me across the face. The nurse jumped up to get in between me and him. "You need to leave NOW!!" she said to him pointing a finger to his chest. He was ignoreing her just glareing at me. Carlisle, jasper,emmett and edward all walked in looking pist as hell. Jake was vibrateing. "Leave mutt" edward said. "This isnt the end" Jake snapped "I will get her back you mark my words" and he walked out.

_**edwards pov:**_

We stood about 30 feet from bella's door listening. The mutt was trying to tell bella she wasnt to come with us. Ha! As if that would stop us. "We will talk about this at home" Did he just threaghten her?! I went to go in but emmett grabbed my arm. "I know your getting out at 2 today. So be ready" He finished. Jasper asked me if he could send bella a wave of bravery, that she was getting scared and he dint want to risk her going back with him. I just nodded i dint want that eather.

"Im not going home with you jake, I dont want anything to do with you, Your lucky i dint press charges from all this shit!" she yelled at him. Ha i could hear her spit hit his face as she yelled. _Have a drink mutt _emmett thought. I nodded again. But bella continued "And i dont want to marry you i dont even want to see you ever again!!!" She yelled. I saw through the nurses mind bella snaching a silver ring off her ring finger and throwing it in his face. He looked at it _she is gonna regret this_ He thought He was reading the engraveing on the ring '_i will always be loyal' _ i laughed an told the boys they laughed as well. "Dumb ass dog" jasper mutterd. I went back to the nurses mind which was very kind but shy, just as jake swung his arm back and slapped bella across the face. Emmett an jasper heard it and so did carlisle we all went running back into the room. As the nurse jumped between bella an the dog she was 2 heads shorter then jake i admired that. "You need to leave NOW!!" she said pointing her finger at his chest. He ignored her just glareing at my bella, he was about to get a taste of his own medicine. I grabbed the dogs filthy arm He turned to glare back at me. _ill kill her before you even have a chance to talk it out! _he thought at me. "Leave mutt" I spit venom in his face. "This isnt the end!!" He snapped "I will get her back you mark my words" _dead or alive, if i cant have her nobody can, i own her. _He added leaveing the room. I heard the ripping of clothes as he reached the forest.

We all looked at bella. She was in shock. Her mouth open and she was holding her face where jake slapped her. I noticed blood in her right eye. I growled. "Penny, would you be so kind as to get isabella some ice for her cheek?" carlisle asked the nurse. "Of course dr" She said giveing bella a weak smile and walking out. " May i see your face?" Carlisle asked. She looked iffy about it. "Would you be better if rose was here?" I asked,she nodded looking slightly embarresed. "Rose." I called in my human tone. She was in the room looking at bella in two seconds. Her smile dropped and she looked livid as she ran to bella pulling her hand away i could see a deep red hand print on her right cheek. _see edward i told you it wasnt fucking safe! I am not leaveing her again! _rose thought to me angrely. I nodded, god i was stupid thinking that a mear human nurse could protect bella. Hell we had troouble with that sometimes an we were fucking vampires.

Rosalie sat beside bella wrapping her arm around her. Bella shiverd slightly but was then still and leary as carlisle walked up to her with his light pen. "Follow the light" He demanded softly, she did. _its a broken blood vesell_ he thought to me. "Ok bella you will be ok there will be some slight bruiseing on your cheek and under your eye but other then that you will be fine" He told her. I could already see the hand shaped bruise makeing its way across the right side of my bella's face. I could tell it hurt her as she put her hand up to it and flinched with the lightest touch. "Let me" Rose said , Removeing bella's hand an replaceing it with her own. Bella sighed in content. Our skin was as good if not better then an ice pack, it never melted. Bella leaned her head into rose's hand relaxeing more. "I wont leave you again bella, im so sorry" She said. Just as charlie walked in. "Out!" He snapped at me and the others. We all walked towards the door. All except rosalie. "Im not leaveing" She told charlie. He grumbled to himself knowing he wasnt going to win.

_**bellas pov:**_

Great another bruise from jake. Whats new?! My dad walked in and demanded everyone out. Rose just glared at him. " Im not leaveing" She told him defiently. I admired her bravery. He just huffed and sat in the chair by my bed and glared at rose's arm around my waist to say he dint like the cullens would be a derastic understatement. "So bella i hear your leaving today?" he said to me. I looked down shyly rosalie gave me a gentle sqeeze. So i looked back up " Um... ya dad i am" I stated matter a-factly. "So when is jake picking you up?" He asked ,rose looked at him. Or more so glared at him. "Dad" I said shakeing my head slightley and bighting my bottom lip. "Im not going back to lapush" My dad jumped up rosalie growled just load enough that i could hear. "What do you mean your not going back? Where the fuck are you going to stay?" He asked eyeing rose as in dareing me to stay with her. She smiled up at him. "Bella will be staying with us" She said smoothley. He glared at me "No you will not! jake fucken picked you up when you were down you will do good to respect that!" He snapped makeing me flinch. Rosalie Jumped up letting go of my waist and getting in charlies face jabbing her finger at his chest. "NO she will not be going anywhere with him! Are you fucking stupid? Do you not see that he is the fucking one that put her here an you still want her to go back you fucking selfish basterd!" rosalie droned on " She is comeing home with us we are a better family to her then you or anybody else. Now i suggest you leave becouse you will not be staying here upsetting my sister!!"

WoW! Mine and charlie both had our jaws about hit the floor. She really cared and i felt warm and fuzzy. They really loved me an planned on protecting me even if that meant getting snippy with the cheaf of police. Charlies mouth just gaped open and closed like a fish out of water. Then he walked out. After a minute i started to cry. Rose sat back down with me. Wrapping me in her sweet embrace. "SShhh" she crooned at me rubbing my hair behind my ear. "He dint even say goodbye" I cryed. "Its ok" Rose said. I nodded as the door opened and a nurse walked in "Sorry to bother you its almost 2" She said shyley looking down. "No its ok" I said as rose moved so the nurse could come up to me. "Well here is your discharge forms" She said handing me a stack of papers with a bunch of medical terms on it. I nodded and rosalie gave her an encorageing smile. When the nurse left rose started helping me get dressed into a new outfit alice had gotten me. (i still had not seen alice or jasper yet) It was a pink tank with blue jeans that had pink handprints on the ass. And a saying above that said 'hands off'. "Rose is there anything else for me to wear" i asked glumley. I hated pink. Rose shook her head leading me out into the waiting room to sighn myself out. When we got to the waiting room i saw carlisle,esme, edward and emmett waiting. I smiled up at them. Going to sighn out.

_**edwards pov:**_

We had been waiting in the waiting room for my bella to get dressed. We were finnaly takeing her home. As she walked out i couldnt help but notice how beautifull she looked in the simple outfit my sister had chosen for her. She smiled at us going to sighn her discharge papers. "Who is your dr in which you will be followingup with?" the receptionist asked. Carlisle walked up to her placeing his hand lightly on her back she flinched. Rose growled but emmett placed his hand on her shoulder _she cant handle being touched _she sneered in her head at me. I nodded "Carlisle wont hurt her" emmett wisperd to her. "I will be her attending phasision" Carlisle said with a smile. The lady looked at him clearley dazled. "Um ok"she said as she had carlisle sighn a paper.

Bella turned around and ran into my waiting arms. I smiled at her she smiled back up at me. "You look beautifull" i told her softley. She shook her head "I hate pink" We all chuckled. Leading her outside to carlisles black car. Carlisle would be workeing late tonight. I was excited to be getting bella home. We had so much to catch up on. When we pulled up bella groaned as she saw the giant banner saying '_ welcome home isabella cullen '_ Alice was standing on the porch with jasper both with a dozen red roses in there hands. I told them not to do this. But i led bella up to them, better to do it now before alice jumped out of her skin from immpatients. "Bella!" alice squiked throwing her arms around her. I rolled my rosalie took bella from me an led her into the house away from all of us.

_**bellas pov:**_

"Bella!" alice had screamed as i got out of the car and was led to the house where a banner hung saying '_welcome home isabella cullen' _Cullen?! Really? God i felt at ease for the first time in three years. I felt like i was home. Home i smiled to myself i like the sound of that. I thought as rosalie took me by the arm and led me gently from all of the commotion. Into the liveing room. It looked exactly the same. I flinched though when i thought of the last time i was here. My awfull 18th birthday party the one that had ruined everything.


	6. brotherly lovefight

_**chapter 6:brotherly love....fight**_

_**bella's pov:**_

Jasper could tell i was panicking. In turn telling edward with his thoughts which edward told the family with vampire speed. Within two seconds i had the hold family wrapped around me. Rosalie and edward both carrying me to the couch wispering soothing words into my ears. Jasper sending a wave of calm so intense my body just melted with relaxation. Esme, emmett and alice just stood like statues looking at me with worried expressions. God this is going to get annoying.

I lifted my hands up in serender "Guys im fine" I wisperd i couldnt yell becouse of all the calm. But they all froze so i knew they heard me. So i continued "Ok if you guys want me to stay sane liveing here your going to have to tone it down a bit. Im not a piece of thin glass that will break with any movement." They snickerd at that, I knew thats exactly how they were treating me becouse compared to them i was extremely breakable. "Are you sure your ok?" Esme asked me. I nodded. "Ya we dont want you downplaying anything bella" Rose said. "Um would you guys mind if i take a shower?" i asked looking around the room at the still worried faces this was going to drive me fucking nutts if they didnt stop this and soon. They exchanged weary glances but edward nodded at me after looking at a dazed looking alice (must have her checking my future. What they think im going to slip and dismember my head. ok i admit it could happen with me but hey give me some credit im still alive.

After getting some fluffy white towles and heading upstairs into the hall bathroom on the 2nd floor i undressed. And rememberd i dint have anything of mine no chlothes no shampoo notheing. "Shit" I said to myself. As i said that the bathroom door burst open the hole family standing there. "GET THE FUCK OUT!" I screamed."GET OUT GET OUT NOW" i said with tears running down my face. Everybody just stood there stunned for a second. I slid to the floor covering my body as best as i could with the towel. Finnaly they started fileing out of the bathroom one by one. Except rosalie and esme. I was sobbing as esme went to touch my arm i screamed. Sobbing into the towel. Esme pulled her hand back walkeing slowly out of the room. Rosalie came up to me slowley "Lets get you out of here hun" She said gestureing to the shatterd bathroom door. I nodded slightly but i couldnt move anymore then that. Rosalie knelt down to my level reaching her hands out slightly. I flinched. "May i" She asked.

I looked up at her scared. But i nodded i needed to get over this. God it was bad enough i couldnt be within touching distance with a guy now i was afriad of the girls to what the fuck im really screwed in the head. Rosalie bent down scooping me up in her arms cradeling me like a baby. "ww..where we going?" I stutterd. "My room has a bathroom and you can use my shampoo and ill lend you an outfit" She replyed. I nodded again i knew she wouldnt let anybody peep. I dont know why but i felt extremely safe with rosalie. Like she was my protecter.

When we reached her room she sat me onto her king size bed softly and went to close her door, staying in the room with me. "The bathrooms right here everythings there" She said pointing at the other door. "Can you stay in here?" I asked. she nodded "Ill have an outfitt ready for you. Probably want some comfortable pj's huh?" She asked i just smiled at her. Standing up walking into the bathroom it was beautifull it was decorated to look like a tropical isle. Wow. "thanks rose" i mutterd knowing she could hear me as i shut the door.

I set the temp on the shower really warm. It felt wonderfull as i stepped in the hot beads of water trickling down my acheing bruised body i moaned slightly out of extacy.

When my acheing body was soothed and my hair and body washed with rosalies brand name coconut shampoo and body wash i stepped out of the shower leaveing the water running the steam was wonderfull. But it had to end. I noticed two new towels laying on the vanity. Along with a pair of gray sweats and a black hoodie. _thanks rose_ i thought to myself drying off and getting dressed.

When i was done i walked out into rosalies room i gasped. It was pitch black outside god how long had i been in there? And the room was empty lights off, I panicked. "R..r...rose" I sobbed."Rose" I screamed falling to the floor wrapping my arms around my knees.

_**edwards pov:**_

My angel was putting a brave face on. but we were still worried and i could tell she dint like it. "Um..would you guys mind if i take a shower?" She wisperd. I was leary so i looked at alice. Alice looked ahead everything looked fine. So i nodded. Bella nodded back and took off upstairs. I heard the bathroom door shut. And everyone went back to there activitys. alice and jasper playing a game of chess, rosalie cuddling with emmett on the couch, esme getting ready to start dinner for my bella. _its do good to have her back_ esme thougt. I smiled to myself i couldnt agree more. Everone elses thoughts were zoned out as i focussed on a vision of alice's. _bella sat on the floor coverd in a fluffy white towel sobbing histerically tears running down her face -end of vision-_

"What happend?" I asked out loud alice looked up at me everyone else just looked from me to alice and back. "Shit" We heard from upstairs. "Bella" we all said running up the stairs emmett busting the bathroom door down. Bella started screaming. "GET THE FUCK OUT! GET OUT GET OUT NOW" wow i had never heard bella use such profanity. We dint know what to do the thoughts of the family hitting me like wild fire. _is she ok -esme- whats wrong with her? -emmett- wow she is panicky -jasper- i dint see what happend -alice- did one of these fuckers hurt her -rosalie- dam rocken bod -emmett- _I elbowed him in the ribs as bella was looking down tears falling. "LEAVE" rosalie commanded to everyone earning a nodd from esme. We all left one by one leaveing rosalie and esme with bella. i went upstairs to the third floor landing where emmett jasper and alice were standing. "Dont" alice said to me as i stood by her i dint have time to quistian what she was talking about when i saw emmetts thoughts. He was reliveing seeing bella naked. fucking perve. It wasnt so bad though i had used to deal with that from alot of the forks high kids. But then emmett began imagineing what he was going to do to her. His hand carressing her subtle breasts his toungue laveing across her neck. "Outside now!!" I snapped at him. Breaking him away from his sick fucking daydream. From the look on his face i could tell he had not realized i was there and i could feel his embaresment. Well serves the fucker right after all bella has been through he has the nerve to think that way.

He just nodded and followed me downstairs and out the door i heard alice go tell rosalie and esme that "the boys are fighting" I vagely heard them follow us. out into the woods. I turned around i knew from his thoughts he was within reaching distance from me. My fist swung right into his jaw and the fight began. He kicked me in the stomach sending me into a tree (the family running up on us yelling for us to stop) I got up grabbing hold of the tree he just kicked me into and threw it at him knocking him upside the head with it. "STOP IT!" esme shouted. Rose went to grab emmett and jasper went to grab me. Rosalie got ahold of emmett and jasper grabbed me but i got away running up to emmett and ripping his arm off tossing it across the forest. "What the fuck was that for?!" Rosalie growled at me. Emmetts arm crawling back to him and reataching its self. He got away from rose and the fight began again.

(1 HOUR LATER)

Me and emmett where at oppisit sides of the house slightly calmed down. Our clothes wripped to shreds. "Explain now!" Esme said. She looked at if she could shoo daggers out of her eyes. It was pitch black out new moon tonight. "You explaing you filthy piece of shit" i snapped at emmett. "EDWARD!" esme scolded. But looked at emmett. "Im sorry" Emmett mutterd. "For what edward fucking started it" rose spit at me holding onto her husband. "I had every right" i snapped as alice gasped. She had seen the reasen behind the fight i was about to explain. "Emmett thats disgusting, how could you?" alice said appalled.

Everone looked between me, emmett an alice. "HE was thinking about thinks to do to my bella when she was naked" I snipped pointing my finger at gasped shakeing there heads. Rosalie looked pure disgusted. Pushing her husband out of her arms and backng away from him. "Real sick emmett" She snapped at him.

"Boys i understand the perdicament but you just toor down half the forest. What if someone had seen you" esme yelled. Esme yelled esme never yelled we were in some big trouble. "Both of you go choose a switch off the tree" She said. Oh no!My and emmetts thoughts were nsync. That cant be good. We both groaned. "Now" esme snapped.

When we came back both with rather large switches. "Edward" she said softly, she was sitting on a bolder. I walked up to her. She pulled my pants down leaveing only my silken blue boxers, bending me over her knee and taken the switch to my ass. "1.....2.....3.....4.....5" She counted. Dam my ass was gonna be sore. It wouldnt hurt if a human had did that but with vampire speed an strengh i wont sit for hours. " Emmett" she called as i pulled my pants up walking over to alice an jasper. He pulled his pants down. we all laughed at that . "Emmet..."alice giggled " Why are you wearing a pink thong." she asked through her giggles. "Rose" He snapped. Rose rolled her eyes with a smile. Esme bent emmett over. "1...2.....3....4.....5....6...." i thought i heard someone wimper rose's name " 7.....8....9..." must be my imagination "10." Esme said. Emmett jumping up quickley pulling his pants up. _i wont sit for a fucken week _emmett thought. I started snickering to myself.  
I stopped abruptly when i heard my beautifull bella's panicked breathing. "ROSE!" she screamed. We all looked at rosalie our smile faltering. And we raced back into the house. Rosalie going into the room with esme and alice. We stayed in the hallway. "Shhhh" i heard the girls trying to sooth my bella. "She is petrified someone do something" Jasper wimperd. Me and emmett grabbed him as he started to crumple to the floor with bella's pain. Alice came out running to jasper in our arms. "Whats wrong" my pixie sister asked him. "Her pain its too much!" He cryed sobbing. His body shook in our arms. We looked up to see bella walking up to jasper placeing her hand on his shoulder. "Sorry" she murmerd. We all looked at her bewilderd.

_**bellas pov:**_

"ROSE!" i screamed falling to the floor wrapping my arms around my knee's. Im alone im all alone, they left again oh no. Jakes going to find me and take me back, im all alone they dont love me , they hate me they had to find a way away from me. I kept thinking to myself i was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that i dint see that rose,esme and alice were in the room trying to calm me. My heart was still acheing with every tear. I was tearing myself up for notheing god i was so stupid. Im showing them just how pitifull i am. I heard someone wimpering in the hall. Who could be in enough pain to wimper ? I thought. Just as i thought that alice ran from the room to the guys with a panicked expression. What the hell is going on? I looked up. Rosalie had her arms wrapped around me pertectively and esme was rubbing my hair shushing me. What i have i done? I thought. God im useless, there going to leave again. With that i started crying again. I couldnt do it i couldnt handle it.

"Her pain its to much!" i heard from the hall. Oh no jasper he felt everything i was feeling. I was hurting there family so much. Time to prove my worth. I stood up wiggling out of rose's gentle grip. She unwillingly let go. When i walked to the doorway i gasped at what i saw. Alice was rubbing jaspers cheek gently he had his head down in a pow position his eyes shut his body limp being held up by emmett and edward. Sobs wracked his body. I walked up to him. Everybody looked up at me except jasper. I placed my warm hand on his cheek. "Sorry" I murmerd. Thats all i could say. What else could i say words could not explain how sorry i was.

Jasper looked up at me. Pain clear in his face and smiled, standing on his own two feet giveing me a gentle hug. "I love you guys" I said looking around at the family. Everones bewilderd expression changed to a smile. "Oh we love you to sis" alice squiked hugging me tightly. "OW! FUCK!" i yelled she let go of me quickly her arms to be replaced by rosalies and edward had his hand under my chin i was doubled over in pain. Fresh tears running down my face from real pain. I knew the The ribs that were freshley healing were now rebroken. My eyes closed and i blacked out from the pain.

_**edwards pov:**_

"I love you guys" She had said looking at us all. She was melting our hearts again. When would her selflessness ever end. Here she was in emotional pain and she was trying to make it better for us. "Oh we love you to sis" Alice had squiled we all nodded in agreement as alice went to give bella a bear hug.-CRACK- "Ow fuck!" bella screamed. Ok this cant be good. Alice let go of her quickley as rosalie went and grabbed her. Bella's hand wrapped around her chest. Shit her ribs! I put my hand under her chin lifting her head to look at me. Rosalie was supporting her hole waight. Bella's eyes drifted into the back of her head. And she blacked out.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Rosalie scooped bella up in her arms and took her to her bed i followed her. In the hallway alice looked misserable. "Call carlisle!" Esme told alice and jasper. They took off down the stairs. "Her ribs are rebroke" Rosalie said cupping bella's freshley broken ribs. A sob came from downstairs. Alice would never forgive herself For this. About twenty minutes later....Bella was still passed out on roses bed. Rose sat on one side, I on the other. Bellas face and head was coverd in sweat from the pain. A gentle knock came at the bedroom door. _may i come in _carlisle thought to me. "Yes" i replied. He walked in with a sad expression. "What happend?" he asked. Not wanting to make alice feel any worse i just replyed " I think her ribs are rebroken" Carlisle nodded lookeing bella over. "Remove her shirt" Carlisle told rose. Rosalie hissed. "Rose i have to see" carlisle said gently. Rose unwillingly began lifting the black hoodie. Bella wimpered in pain. Still asleep.

When rose had bella's shirt off i couldnt help but stare at bellas sweet naked breasts this was wrong in sooo many ways. And it did not go un-noticed by rosalie. "Out pervert" She snarled at me. I stood up to leave just as carlisle touched bella's ribs."no no jake please not again" my angel was panicking in her sleep. "shh" rosalie cood rubbing her hand through bellas hair. carlisle looked distrought _poor girl has been through so much i just want to make this all easier on her _carlisle thought. I nodded when we heard a gasp. Bella started screaming flailing her arms. "Rose hold her down" Carlisle told her as bella slapped him across the face. "Nooooo"She screamed as rose unwillingly held her arms down. My hand reached out for my bella. I wanted more then anythingto calm my love down. "No jake please dont rape me" Bella screamed tears streaming down her beautifull face. Her head thrashing back and forth. "Whats wrong with her" Me and rose asked in unision.

Carlisle looked up at us gravely. "She's haveing a flashback" He said, trying to keep bella's legs still. "I need to sudate her" he said to rosalie earning him a growl.

"NO" rose snapped. He went to say something else but she cut him off. "Were here to help her not fucking knock her out everytime she is fucking afraid! NO!" Carlisle leaned his head down. "Then calm her down" Carlisle said as bella spit in his face. Rose nodded and carlisle gestured for me and him to leave the room. When he got up letting go of bellas legs she swung her right leg with as much force as she could muster right into carlisles groin. "Shit" Carlisle moaned. I helped him up and helped him into the hall. This is going to be fun. Bella found the one place she could hurt a vampire. Our groin was just like any other man. It hurt like hell to get hit there.

_**bellas pov:**_

I felt someone lift my shirt i wanted to scream. Was it jake no no please dont let it be jake. The darkness pushed on my eyes but i pushed back eventually getting it to lift. The first thing i noticed was my shirt was off. And rose,edward an carlisle all stareing at me. But then the wierdest and most terifying thing happend they disapeared carlisle turning into jake, edward turning into sam. But rose was still here she was holding my arms down. What was she doing? she was just going to let jake rape me?! No! I got one arm free, slapping jake (carlisle) across the face. It dint seem to face him. "Rose hold her down" He told her. What?! How did he know rose? Was she in on this nononononono! "Noooooo" i screamed as she held both my arms tightly. Sam (edward) reached his hand out to me looking as if he wasnted to help wants to help me? Ok something wasnt right. Jake held my legs I looked up at him panicked. "No" i pleaded. "Jake please dont rape me" i screamed i could feel the traiter tears running down my face. Throwing my head side to side trying to escape. I heard them talking but i couldnt understand what they were saying in my panicked state. Rose was yelling at jake (Carlisle) Yes she wants to help she is on my side. I smiled inwardly. Sam (edward) went to leave. Thank god. Jake (carlisle) let go of my legs. What was he doing. He was leaveing? Well i wasnt letting him go unscathed. He never let me. So as soon as my legs were free i musterd all of my streangh an kicked him in his dick. He doubled over in pain. I saw rose smile slightly. "Shit" jake (carlisle) said. Sam (edward) grabbed jake (carlisle) and helped him to the hall. As soon as they were gone i noticed i still dint have a shirt on. I went to quickley grab the blinket to cover myself but was cut short by a strong pain in my side. "OOWW" i cryed. Rose gently grabbed my shoulders pushing me down. "Yer ribs are rebroken" Rose told me gently. I nodded breathing hard. Every breath hurt like hell.

ya she was right. "Why were you scared bella?" Rose asked. "I mean i understand what you have been through but carlisle and edward? You should know bella they would never...." She dropped off shakeing her head. "I...i" i couldnt tell her. How the hell was she gonna take it when i told her that her brother and father had just turned into my worst nightmare? And god i just kicked carlisle oh no! "Rose i kicked carlisle...." i started shakeing my head tears streaming. But then a quistian poppedin my head. "How...how did i hurt carlisle he...he's like granit?" i stutterd.

Rose chuckled wich pissed me off how was this funny. "Was he just fucking with me" i asked. Was this some kinda sick damn joke? When i kicked him in his groin he looked well he looked as if he were in alot of pain. Bent over, Edward had to help him walk for christs sake. Rose shook her head. "No bella" She said with a chuckle. When i started to argue she put a hand up to let her continue. " A vampires groin area is just like a human male if you get it right you can bring them to there knee's well as you plainley saw" wow i wasnt expecting that for sure.

"Really?" was all i could respond. rose nodded.


	7. singing feelings an journal entrys

CHAPTER #7: singing feelings & journal entrys

_**bella pov:**_

-3 days later-

I sat up lookeing around edwards room. Everone thought i was sleeping ,it was after all only 4am. I dint hear anybody around. My chest began to have a dull ache just a reminder of what i felt when edward had left me. But he was here now. I stood from the leather couch going to edwards bookshelf grabbing my batterd journal that was hidden.

I flipped through the pages looking for a blank page to wright on. When i came across a song i had written, as i read every line tears fell down my eyes. so i started to sing....

_**Edwards pov:**_

I was down stairs paceing. Carlisle said bella needed time alone.I wasnt convinced it was safe for her to be alone so carlisle had installed a camra in my room that connected to his office. (Which someone watched at all times)right now esme was watching it. I was walking to the pace of my bella's sweet heartbeat. But it became quicker. Something noticed by all the family. We dint want another bathroom incident so we all quitley raced to carlisles office. Looking at the small computer screen that now showed my bella. She was sitting up on my couch looking at some batterd book i had never running down her face i went to run out but esme placed her hand on my shoulder. _Its her journal _esme . I had known about those. At that point i was very curiese as to what my bella could have written.

My thoughts were interupted as bella spoke to herself in a wisper. "to my darleing edward..." it was dated a year and a half ago " my life without you" she continued and then we all gasped as she started to sing in the most beautifull voice...

_missery is what i feel when your not around so i cant heal_

_missery is what i feel its what i feel. _

_when i touch you, can you feel it? when i need you, can you give it?_

_when i look in your eyes can you see me? _

_when i fall fall will you catch me, catch me, catch meeee?_

_missery is what i feel when your not around so i cant heal missery is what i feel is what i feeel_

_missery..._

her singing was cut off by her crying, I couldnt controll it anymore i had to go see her. I ran from the office going to my room. I lightly tapped on the door. I heard her slight intake of breath. "y..yes?" she called out scared. "Bella its me edward do you mind if i come in?" i asked gently. "Its your room" she chuckled. I opened the door as she stashed the batterd book behind her. I needed to see that book. It would give more of a reasen to kill that stupid fucking mutt. I needed to know how much more my love had hurt,so my heart could ache with her.

"As of right now its yours" i said to her. She smiled shakeing her head. "I hate inconvienincing you guys" she wimperd, i heard a hiss from carlisles office and thoughts hitting me like brick. _poor thing she is so down how can we make her feel more at home here _-esme- _dude is she jokeing things are always more fun with her around _-emmett- _stupid ass tell her she belongs here _-rosalie- (i rolled my eyes)

I looked over at bella who now had fresh tears running from her eyes. What did i do? Rosalie asked the same thing in her head. I dint know weather to grab bella and wrap her in my arms or what to do. "Um...bella are you ok love" i asked. she sobbed harder. "A little help rose" i said at vampire speed. I heard rose come from carlisles office and walk in the door. Bella looked up an smiled slightly.

I got up to walk out bella ignored my departure. I wanted to cry myself. I dint know if i should see whats going on or if mabe i should go hunt. But i needed to know what was wrong with my true love. _come son its fine _carlisle thought from his office. So i slowly walked to his office oppening the door i noticed everyone else was gone. I looked at carlisle slightly confussed. "They left to give bella a little privacy" he said gestering to the chair beside him. I sat and we both focussed on what was going on with bella and rose.

_**bellas pov:**_

Rose was sitting beside me. I dint have the strengh to talk i just cryed. I trusted rose did i not? I looked at her she smiled at me in encoragement. "He hurt me so bad" i said. "Dont worry it wont happen again" rose assured. She thought i was talking about jake? "Edward i mean." I said to her. She looked at me confussed. We heard a load sob come from somewhere in the house. It was edward. I hated hurting him but damn it he did do this and i need to get it off my chest. Rose waited for me to continue. "In some ways i think he hurt me worse then jake" i wisperd. Edwards sobs continued followed by a light thud. .

Could i continue hurting him with my words was it worth getting this off my chest? I asked myself. "Its ok" rose said to me soothingly. "You need to talk about it" I nodded slightly she was right. " You know i used to write about you guys everyday. I even had a song i dedicated to each of you" I told her. Her eyebrows raised at that. "like what" she asked. I smiled slightly. "You dont want to know ,you would laugh at me." I told her seiriesly. She looked kind of mad by my conclussion. "Bella" She said grabbing my chin makeing me slightly flinch. "I would never laugh at you" She let me go an gave me a gentle hug. I hugged her back it was good to feel this cold touch once more. "Well" i started with a weak smile. " for edward i did. My immortal by evanessence." She nodded she knew what i was talking about. "Edwards never heard that song" she said gently. "Oh" was all i could reply. What else could i say the name should say it all. He is my immortal. Or at least i want him to be mine. "Does edward still want me?" I asked she looked dumbstruck. Shakeing her head "of course cant you see that?" she asked. I shook my head and heard the sob again. I dint want to continue. "Its good for him to know this stuff" she told me rubbing her hand down the lengh of my hair. Tears ran down again. She gently wiped them away. "Thanks" i told her she smiled in return. "No i mean thanks for everything" i clarified, she looked confussed so i continued. "You guys dint have to save me you could have went on with your life but i...i messed up everything its all my falt i make everyone so unhappy." I was sobbing hysterically by the time i was finished. She held me a bit tighter. "So" she said trying to change the subject. "What song did i get" I chuckled nervousely. "Um well" i started " its ok" rose said. I looked down at my hands. "Im a bitch by meridith brooks" her eyebrows went up. I heard laughing and emmett alice and the rest came through the door all laughing except for edward who looked like a burning man. I smiled slightly when i saw rose laughing along. "That is so true" Emmett laughed. Earning him a pellow to the face. "what about me?" Jasper asked shyley. Alice bursted with laughter knowing what i would pick. "Why in heavens name did you pick that" she said through laughter. Everyone was looking between me and alice confussed. jasper smiled at me waiting like the rest "Well you remind me of a major country boy" i said shyley "I am" jasper said in a southern accent. Alice laughed again clutching her sides. "Jasper she went toooo country" She said. Everyone looked at me impatiently, even edward looked mildly curies. Then he chuckled as he heard the answer in alices head "nice" he mutterd.

"WHAT?!" emmett yelled. "amish paradise by wierd al" i stated. Everyone laughed louder then before even edward chuckled at jaspers shocked face. Alice had fallen to the floor laughing. And emmett was leaning against the door in hysterics. Glad i amuse them. "what about me?" alice asked but right after she asked she said "awww" She looked like she would cry. She came up and gently hugged me. "You are to sweet" "What?" everyone but alice and edward asked. "True friend by miley cyrus" "awww" everyone started singing it together, soon joined by esme and rosalie. The guys laughed.

_**edwards pov:**_

I was sitting upstairs watching rose talk to bella it was breaking my heart the way bella felt but she was right it was all my falt if i had never broke up with her none of this shit would have happend. I dry sobbed. "In some ways i think he hurt me worse then jake" She wisperd. Oh great i was worse then the pathetic mutt that had raped her and beaten her for over two and a half years. I sobbed harder leaning forward falling out of the chair with a light thud when i hit the desk. Carlisle leaned down rubbing soothing circles on my back. "Son would you rather her keep it in?" he asked me i shook my head quiting my sobs. After i had collected myself i looked at the screen bella looked nervouse. _she dedicated a song one for each of us _rose thought to me. "well" bella said shyley "for edward i did my immortal by evanessence" rose nodded at her. "Whats my immortal?" i asked carlisle ,he shrugged. Rose heard me and looked quickley at the hidden camra smileing slightly. "Edwards never heard that song" she told bella. Mabe if im lucky, with her beautifull voice i might get her to sing it to me. "Oh" she replyed looking shy. Bellas next quistian cought me off gaurd "does he still want me" WHAT?! I grabbed the computer screen trying to talk through it "of course i want you bella how could i not you are perfect you are my sun my moon my world i am notheing without you" I said to the screen silently sobbing. When rosalie asked her if she could tell that i loved her she shook her hed no. I sobbed. My mind went out of focus again carlisle trying to calm me down.

When i came back into focus i saw bellas face streaked with tears it made my heart wretch. "What song did i get?" rose asked trying to change the subject back. Bella made a nervouse sound. "Um well" she said biteing her bottom lip with alot of force. _that bad huh?_ rose thought. I was vagly aware of the others listening to. Rose assured her that it wouldnt bug her anyway. "Im a bitch by meridith brooks." "What?!" carlisle,esme and jasper all said in unision. Wow i thought. Emmett and alice were laughing there asses off, all of us rushing to the door wanting to know our songs. Well i knew mine. I stepped in the door seeing bellas tear stained face up close made me want to scream. "That is so true" Emmett laughed. Rose threw a pellow at his head. _Im not a bitch anymore am i edward?_ rose asked. I shook my head she was right she had really changed. "What about me?" jasper asked her. She was holding out but when she said amish paradise i thought it was kinda well i guese fitting entell i heard emmett sing the words laughing in his head

_as i walk through the valley where i harvest my grain_

_i take a look at my wife and realize shes very plain _

_but thats just perfect for an amish like me_

_you know i shun fancy things like electricity_

_at 4:30 in the morning im milking cows_

_jebadiah feeds the chicken and jacob plows_

_fool_

_an i been milken and plowen so long_

_that even zekiel thinks that my mind is gone_

_im a man of the land im into disapline_

_gotta bible in my hand and a beard on my chin_

_and if i finish all of my chores and you finish thine _

_then tonight were gonna party like in 1699....._

That wasnt jasper at all. I wonder so how her mind works. Everyone was laughing hysterically entell alice asked hers. "True friend by miley cyrus" I had heard that song once began singing it with bella. Soon joined by rose an esme. I seperated there voices so i could hear just bella. The guys laughed i chuckled slightly happy that bella was haveing some fun. I just listend....

_**We sighned our cards and letters bff**_

_**you got a million ways to make me laugh**_

_**you looken out for me you got my back**_

_**its so good to have you around**_

_**you know the secrets i could never tell (alice an rose nodd)**_

_**and when im quiet, you break through my shell **_

_**dont feel the need to do a reveal**_

_**couse you keep my feet on the ground**_

_**your a trueeee friend your here tell the end**_

_**you pull me aside when something aint right**_

_**talk to me now and into the night**_

_**tell its alright again**_

_**your a trueee friend**_

_**you dont get angry when i change the plans**_

_**somehow your never outa second chances**_

_**wont say i told you when im wrong again**_

_**im so lucky that i found**_

_**(they were now danceing holding hands)**_

_**a trueee friend**_

_**your here tell the end**_

_**you pull me aside when something aint right**_

_**talk to me now and into the night tell its alright again**_

_**true friends will go to the end of the earth tell they find the things you need**_

_**friends will go through the ups and the downs couse they got someone to beee there**_

_**a truueee friend **_

_**your here tell the end**_

_**you pull me aside when something aint right**_

_**talk to me now and into the night**_

_**no need to pretend**_

_**ohhh yer a true friend**_

_**your here tell the end**_

_**you pull me aside when something aint right**_

_**talk with me now and into the night**_

_**tell its alright again**_

_**your a true friend**_

_**your a true friend **_

_**your a trueee friendddd.**_

The girls fell to the couch laughing. My bellas smile made everyone happy. "Feel the love bro" Emmett said to me grabbing me and carlisle into a bear hug. Jasper joined. Makeing carlisle an i fall to the floor. "DOG PILE" Emmett screamed as the girls giggled together on the couch. Emmet jumped on me, i was laying across carlisles middle jasper jumped on top of emmett. "Boys" esme scolded through her giggles. The girls jumped up. Alice grabbed jasper by his pants giveing him a wedgy. He in turn took alice in a gentle headlock. They both were laughing. Next rose grabbed emmett tugging he wouldnt budge so rose depants him. The little pink thong stuck out like a sore thumb. "What the.......?" Bella gasped falling to the floor laughing. I forgot she dint know about this. Emmett jumped up pulling his pants up. I went to bella to help her up she was laughing "pink.....thong.....not....emmett....emma" hahahaha. Emmett glared at rose. Esme helped carlisle up. "Ok boys enough fun." Esme said "breakfast will be ready in a few" she smiled at bella who went and sat on my couch. _i got it _rose thought to me. "Um alice would you stay with bella for a minute" i asked. "Sure" she squiked jumping onto the couch makeing bella bounce into her. Hugging her.

Me rosalie and carlisle went to his office. He sat to watch bella alice and jasper (esme had went to cook) "Um calrlisle" rose interupted him. He looked up at her. Then looked at me. "I got the journal" she said stiffley. I knew she dint like the idea of invadeing bellas privacy neather did me and carlisle but if it would help. Bella dint know alice couldnt see the wolves we could just tell her thats how we knew it all. "Thank you rosalie" Carlisle said gently as rose handed him the batterd book. "Im going back to bella" rose said and walked out. Carlisle started flipping the pages of the batterd book stopping at may,8 months after we had left.

_dear,journal may 22nd, thurseday_

_I just got back from jakes. I still cant believe he is a werwolf. there is something different about him. But i think im beginning to love him. I dont know i miss edward so much. _

_i cant betray him. But he told me to be happy. Im so confused. Jake is pushing it though i know he wants it to go farther and i dont want to hurt him. Mabe i could try it. It wont hurt right?well ill wright later..._

_love bells_

carlisle flipped further through the pages landing on the next year june.

_dear,journal june,15th, monday_

_I went and got my ultasound today. Its a girl billy is so happy and jake is happy couse he is. I cant wait to meet my little aly rosemee black. We are getting her room ready for her its all pink and stylish alice would be proud. I miss them so much its been over a year. Im 19 now and pregnant lol i would never have thought that to be me. Im happy liveing with jake and pack seems excited to see the lil pup. lol._

_I woke up crying this morning. I love aly alot already but well it hurts to know its not edwards baby. It hurts to know this baby will have black hair and deep brown eyes and tanned skin not pale white with golden eyes and bronze hair.... bye_

the end of the page had tears on it. Pregnant? Carlisle looked between me and the bella on screen. "Wheres the baby?" i asked. Lookeing at the screen. Rose looked at the camra. Then to bella "Ill be right back sis" she said patting bellas head wich was layed on alices shoulder. Next thing we knew she was in the room. "What are you guys talking about a baby?" She asked glareing at me and carlisle. "Bella seems to have been pregnant" Carlisle stated. "What?!" she asked running up to him grabbing the journal. She read the page. She looked up hope crossing her features she loved babys. "Wheres she at?" she asked me _she named her after me alice and esme you see that _she cood in her head , i nodded. "Thats what we would like to know" I told her. "Read more" Rose said.

Two months pages went by with notheing but talk of aly rosemee black. Entell august 22nd. something cought my i read the page in which was coverd in tears.

_dear,journal august,22nd, saturday_

_Billys death hit jake hard .he is a monster. I just got back from the hospital i lost her, i lost my one conection to the cullens the one thing i could say there name to_

_i was going to tell aly all about my perfect vampire family. But no! Jake had to beat the shit out of me. my stomach feels so wierd being flat. All i have done is sit in my room crying _

_how could he be so crule ,my baby. He is a fucking monster. She is really gone! They tryed to save her but she had enternall bleeding. They deliverd her by c-section. She was beautifull Her hair wasnt black it was bronze like his. It reminded me of him. But now she is gone. Why does he take everything from me. I dont care about these damn bruises and shit i want my baby back. I want my vampires back. I want to die. mabe ill make use of that box cutter jake just got. I can never forgive him for this. _

_i have to go jakes bitchen for me to make him dinner. Even know im on damn bedrest. I love you edward i miss you if you were here this wouldnt matter im on birth controll and jake will never know._

_R.I.P. ALY ROSEMEE CULLEN. AUG,19TH 11PM- AUG20TH 1AM_

_-DEAD INSIDE-_

i Gasped handing the book to carlisle for him and rose to read. He killed his own baby. He hurt my bella worse then anything. He took her child away, something i could not give her. My thoughts were interupted by rosalies growling. She threw the book across the room and was trying to get out the door carlisle had her around the waist. "Emmett" I yelled. He came through the door in a flash helping carlisle hold rose. _what happend _emmett asked me. I handed him the journal turning to the page we read. He looked over it and looked beyond pist "that fucking sick basterd ill..." he stopped couse rosalie started struggling almost getting away. "Calm rosalie" Carlisle told her. "He killed her baby!" She yellled. "shhhh bella will hear you" rose quieted "Lets go hunt" emmett said. _hunt some fucking dog_ she snarled. "Keep her close to you" i warned emmett as she stormed out the door. I handed the journal to carlisle i couldnt handle reading anymore.

My love had been round with child. Then i had an idea. "Carlisle is it possible?" I asked him. carlisle looked up at me confussed. "Never mind" i said thinking better of it. And walking out the door to go to my love.

_**bellas pov:**_

I heard rose yell she sounded hurt and pist at the same time. I looked up panicked. Alice assured me everything was fine an that rosalie had left to hunt with emmett. "Im going to go check on your breakfast." Alice said getting up and smileing slightly but what was that sad look i could see it in hers an jasper had it. Before i had time to ask edward walked in. Alice took jasper by the hand and walked out. "How are you doin love?" he asked me. I smiled wich he returned but it dint reach his eyes. "Whats the matter with you all?" i asked i knew something was wrong im not stupid. "where fine love dont fret" he said "but.." i started to ubject but he spoke over me. He never does that. He has to many manners he has never intentionally been rude expeciolly to me. "What was that song you dedicated to me...my immortal?" he asked. "How did you know?" i asked he pointed to his ears "vampire hearing" he explained but looked at his cd case at the same time. Ok odd. "Um ya its just a um...song that made me think of you"

He smiled. "well i figured that out considering the name wich by the way i am both" i looked at him slightly confussed. He smiled again explaining. "the song is called my immortal is it not?" i nodded. "Well i am both. i am yours and i am indeed imortal" i smiled at him. He just said he was mine. which did that mean i was his to. "I am yours to" i wisperd shyly. "Thank you love that is all i want." My heart flutterd with happyness."Will you sing it to me?" he asked i looked at him then shook my head biteing my lip. "Its depressing i dedicated it when you left" i saw his face fall for a second but it dint last the encourageing smile reappeared. "Please" he asked i coulnt deny that to him when he dazzled me. "Thats not fair" i told him. "What love" he said with a smile. But i dint answer instead i just started singing the song to him...

_im soo tired of being here_

_suppressed by all my childish fears and if you have to leave_

_i wish that you would just leave_

_couse your presence still lengers here_

_and it wont leave me alone._

_these wounds wont seem to heal_

_this pain is just to real _

_theres just to much that time cannot erase_

_when you cryed i wiped away all of your tears_

_when you scream i fight away all of your fears _

_an i held your hand through all of these years_

_but you still have all of meeeee_

_you used to captivate me_

_my own resinateing life_

_but now im bound by the life you left behind_

_your face it hounts, my once pleasent dreams_

_your voice it chased away_

_all the sanity in me _

_these wounds wont seem to heal this pain is just to real_

_theres just to much that time cannot erase_

_when you cryed i wipe away all of your tears _

_when you scream i fight away all of your fears_

_and i held your hand through all of these years_

_and you still have all of meee_

_i tryed so hard to tell myself that your gone_

_but though your still with me ive been alone all alonggggg._

_when you cryed i wipe away all of your tears _

_when you scream i fight away all of your fears_

_an i held your hand through all of these years _

_but you still have all of _

_meeeee ohhhh, meeeee ohhhh, _

I lifted my head to look at him. His face was faceing the window. His breathing slow but ragid. "Im sorry" i said dropping my head again. Ashamed. He lifted my chin with his hand i looked into his eyes he dint smile but instead pulled me to him in a gentle hug. I flinched at first he shushed me. Calming me by lightly trailing kisses on my head. I dont know how long we sat like that but alice came in saying a quick "breakfast is ready" and left she looked as if he had been sobbing she looked distrought. What the hell was going on. Edward walked me downstairs to the kitchen where the amazeing smell of fried bacon cheese omlet and hash came to me yumm. I sat at the table and dug in.

_**edwards pov:**_

After she sang the song my heart sinking the hole way but when she reached the verse saying 'but now im bound by the life you left behind' it was so true. I heard alice sobbing from her room jasper just wispering soothing words but his thoughts in sync with hers. A baby bella had been killed a part of our family we had never gotten to meet and jacob was going to pay. We just needed time to mourn the new found loss. Without letting bella know. But what if it was possible for her to concieve again....with me? Well i put that thought away for later. It was to needed to heal first. "Breakfast is ready" Alice said a sob in her voice. I couldnt tell if bella heard it but from her worried expression i knew she had seen alices burning face i slightly glared at alice. _im sorry edward i really am but if i cant tell her i know i cant be here _she thought and walked out. I walked bella downstairs to the smell of some horrid breakfast. Her mood and face lifted when she smellled it. Apparently it smelled deliciose to her. And thats all that matterd. What she liked. Time to make up for lost time.

* * *

**to all my fans thanks for the r+r. Reviews are like oxegyn i cant live without them. Please i beg of you review good or bad dont matter to me. And thanks for the ideas from my fans keep em comeing. Btw i dont own anything. Just a very twisted imagination and to much time on my hands. stay at home mom ya know.**


	8. he's back

_**chapter #8: he's back!**_

_**edwards pov:**_

-2 days later-

Bella was really upset alice was ignoreing her. She had asked me to talk to her so here i was. I heard a ding from my room, instant messanger bella must be talken to angela or her dad or something. I knocked on alices bedroom door. "Come in" jaspers depressed voice came through the door. I walked in. Alice was sobbing still jasper was holding her. "Are you ok?" I asked her. "Your going to hear worse things then the baby thing" She told me before her voice stopped and her gaze became unfocused. I heard bella gasp but i needed to know what happens to my bella.

_bella was sitting on my couch reading wuthering hights. _

_when the im went off on the laptop i had gotten bella_

_for a welcome home gift. She walked up to the computer _

_the im was from jake an her was thraeghtning her. It all went black_

_this is not good._

_-end of vision-_

Me,alice and jasper were running to my room to bella just as we heard her scream.

_**bellas pov:**_

I dint know what i did wrong. Alice was avoiding me and everyone else just looked like they wanted to cry when they saw me. expeciolly rosalie. -ding- who could be iming me? its 11pm most my friends were asleep. I stood up and walked to the desk/cd holder sitting down.

**new i.m from: wolfboy17**

what the hell did jake want. I gasped. opening it. i couldnt be weak and i would not let the other cullens see me scared.

**wolfboy17****- **_**hey baby when you comen home**_

**lonelyswan****- **_**dont call me baby! and i am never comeing back!**_

**wolfboy17****- **_**Oh come on bells you know im sorry**_

**lonelyswan****- **_**damn it jake i dont want you anymore im finnaly happy again cant you just leave me alone**_

**wolfboy17****- **_**NO! You are mine isabella swan! And i will have you. Or nobody will!**_

**lonelyswan****-**_** Edwards reading this!**_

**wolfboy17****-**_** lol No he is not bella you are a terrible lier**_

**lonelyswan****- **_**Yes he is and he is gonna beat your ass if you dont knock it off**_

**wolfboy17****- **_**God yourbeautifull when you look scared lmao**_

**lonelyswan****- **_**What?! what did you just say?!**_

**wolfboy17****- **_**turn around**_**.**

I stood up quickley. Petrified. I dint want to turn around but he chuckled. I turned around and screamed. He ran towards me and put his hand over my mouth. "Shhh do as i say and..." He was cut off when the door burst open all the cullens looking like they were gonna rip him limb from limb. "Come any closer ill snap her neck!" Jake snarled. alice gasped dazeing out for a second. "He'll do it dont move" alice said panicked. So this was it this was the end. When you get everything you ever wanted you should know it wont last how could i be so stupid. The cullens were froze. Edward,emmett,jasper and rose growling. Esme looked like she wanted to snatch bella and run. Alice looked petrified that one of them would couse her vision to become reality.

"What do you want?" Carlisle hissed. "ah ah ah dont push me" jake sneered putting pressure on my neck. I wimperd. Edward started to crouch but carlisle placed his hand on his shoulder edward stood up and growled. Jake backed us up towards the open window. Alice gasped again from something she now?!

_**edwards pov:**_

He had my love. He was threaghtning to break her neck and from alices vision he would do it if we tryed anything. "What do you want?!" Carlisle hissed. He was very angry. To him bella was another child of his. She always had been. "ah ah ah dont push me" He sneered. I saw the new pressure he was putting on bellas neck she wimperd. Fuck it ill change her if i have to! I thought. But carlisle stopped me. _dont son! we dont want bella hurt if we can prevent it. _carlisle thought to me. Jake backed up to the open window at the same time alice had a vision. Of jake throwing bella out my third story window. How was she seeing this?! I started toward them carlisle tryed to stop me but alice stopped him. "I warned you!" Jake said. He then turned around throwing bella out the window. "BELLA!" my whole family and i screamed in unision. Jake jusmped and we followed. Where was bella she wasnt on the ground. I Grabbed jake, rosalie slapped him across the face. "Where the fuck is my sister!" she sneered. "Wheres my dam daughter" Esme yelled. Esme cursed wow. Jake smiled towards the forest. we looked there standing at the edge of the tree's was the pack. 6 of them. They had me bella she had tears streaming down her face. "Please" She begged. Sam looked upset debateing on letting her go. "They have her brainwashed!" Jake told him. sams grip tightend once more. _what about what emily had told me?_ He thought. "Your right!" I answerd sams thoughts "Emily was right it was jake all along. Every mark everything" jake went to upject but emmet growled.

"Bella is this true" sam asked gentling his grip once more. Bella looked at jake who glared at her. That was it I went to him snapping his arm."Dont you scare her!" i yelled. Bella looked at sam her face coverd in tears she nodded. Sam let her go shocked. I let go of jake, Emmett and rosalie kicked him into the dirt. Rose spitting venom at him. He went to attack as bella ran into esmes arms. "Jake stop!" sam yelled with the double tone of the alpha. Jake stopped moveing and growled. "I forbid you to set foot near isabella swan or any of the cullens for the rest of your life is that clear!" he yelled jake nodded walking over to the pack. "Im sorry" sam said to me and my family. "Thats fine but if there is a next time we will have no choice other then killing jacob" Carlisle said. I growled at his word fine it most definitly was not fine!

"See ya later baby mama." jacob sneered. That was it rose went to attack but esme went to him slapping him so hard he flew into a tree and got knocked out cold! Alice started kicking him in the gut the pack just stood there for a minute knowing jake deserved this. "Stop" Carlisle commanded. Esme,alice and rosalie froze. Backing away from jakes limp form. Sam went to pick jake up throwing him ruffley over his shoulder. "Im truly sorry for the misunderstanding" sam said. "THATS WHAT YOU CALL IT?! SAMUEL!" Bella surprised us all by screaming. She had tears running from her eyes. "HE TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME YOU...YOU ASSHOLE." _its comen out _carlisle thought. _you go bella _rosalie thought. _"YOU JUST FUCKING STOOD THERE LIKE NOTHEING HAPPEND HE TOOK MY LIFE HE TOOK MY BABY AND YOU HAVE STOOD BEHIND HIM YOU FUCKING MUTT!" _she screamed walking up to sam, i tryed to stop her but carlisle shook his head no. "Im sorry" Sam said softly. "Your sorry ha that wont make up for shit""its to late to apoligize" she spat then swung her hand back conecting with his face.

Alice quickley grabbed bella handing her to me. "UGH!" she screamed. "I want to go back inside our house" she said to me makeing sure sam heard the 'our' part. "Bella..." He began. "Dont!" she yelled looking livid " You stupid dogs have done enough damage!" At that she turned into the house with rosalie and alice.

"I will make sure jacob obeys the rules" sam said .lookeing at carlisle. They nodded towards eachother Then the pack walked off into the forest. "JUST STOP!" we heard bella scream and with that me,carlisle,esme, emmett and jasper ran to my bella.

_**bellas pov:**_

Sam thought he could get my forgiveness god he was brainless. My fear had quickley turned into a rageing ball of anger. And it needed lose. "UGH!" i screamed at him. How was he so god damn stupid. I knew he was trying to get me to go back to lapush it wasnt happening i wanted to stay here. "I want to go back inside our house" i said makeing sure he heard every word. "Bella..." He began. "Dont!" i yelled looking pist. "You stupid dogs have done enough damage!" I screamed cutting him off And walking into the house rosalie and alice trailing behind me. The anger was boiling if they said anything it could set me off. Rose sat me on the couch. Trying to make me comfortable. Both her and alice were giveing me soothing words. "It will be ok" Alice crooned. "JUST STOP!" i screamed at them both, standing up again. "It wont be fine! Jesus i thought vampires were smart!" I yelled. I went to walk toward the door i needed some fresh air. Carlisle grabbed me gently from behind trying to pull me into a hug. "Let....Me....GOOO!" i screamed hitting him in the chest with my fists with every word. He just stood there never letting go. "I Hate you i hate everyone!" i yelled still struggling. "Why cant i just DIE?!" i was beginning to sob. "Shhh bella nobody will hurt you" carlisle said softtly rubbing my hair. I looked up at him his face blury behind my tears then i looked at the family one by one. "Dont you see im unloveable im damaged beyond repair! He killed my baby he killed the little life left in me. Nobody will ever want me!" And i blacked out.

_**edwards pov:**_

She tryed to leave carlisle grabbed her becouse if i did i knew i would not be able to hold on long i would let her escape if thats what she truly wanted. But seeing her tears and her hitting carlisle with those tiny fragile fists so much anger and sorrow in her eyes. What had i done? "Dont you see im unlovable, im damaged beyond repare!" how could she think that? "He killed my baby, he killed the little life left in me." there it was the cat was outa the bag and alice could now stand by her best friend and sister. "Nobody will ever want me!" I went to object but she blacked out. Sagging into carlisles arms. Carlisle took bellas limp form and layed her on the couch.

_bella needs out edward! _alice said in her head. I thought about that, perhaps she was right but was bella really ready for that? "Family meeting" I called. Walking to the dineing room sitting in a side seat at the large table. Soon joined by my family. I explained what alice had said and my family agreed if bella was ok with it then we would take her out and have a little fun.

* * *

**hey peaple sorry for the short chapter kinda ran out of ideas but if you get me some ideas on how to continue i will post them. And r+r thats makes the likelyhood of more chapters greater. Reviews are like blood to vampires we need them for streangh! Please i need....blood! lol**


	9. venting and discovering yourself

_**ok really if you read review i dont even have 10% of you reviewing so please review good or bad if you dont review im not gonna wright anymore, thank you to those of you that did review it is much appreciated.**_

_

* * *

_

_last time chap.8: bella needs out edward! alice said in her head. I thought about that, _

_perhaps she was right but was bella really ready for that? "Family meeting" I _

_called. Walking to the dineing room sitting in a side seat at the large table. _

_Soon joined by my family. I explained what alice had said and my family agreed _

_if bella was ok with it then we would take her out and have a little fun._

_**CHAPTER#9: venting and discovering yourself**_

_**bella pov:**_

2 days later:

I had passed out in carlisles arms the other day after punching him. I was so embarresed. I stayed in edwards room with the door locked. I refused to eat and i drank from the cup out of edwards bathroom. I hadnt let anyone in, edward an alice included. ~_knock knock_~ I ignored it. ~knock knock~ still ignoreing it.

"Bella please let me in" alice begged. I stayed silent. After 5 minutes she spoke again. "Isabella marie swan you need to get your skinny ass down stairs and eat now!" she snapped. Oh hell no! I have been told what to do long enough! ~gasp~ alice must have seen my reaction. I stood up and walked to the door unlocking and opening it. alice steped back but i stepped forward i knew the rage was burning in my eyes. "Dont you dare tell me what to fucking do you stupid bitch!" i screamed at her. She reached her hands up in surrender just as the rest of the cullens came up.

"Bella...." edward said cousiosly reaching a hand out to me. "Dont!" i snapped at him. They had no fucking clue what i was going through and i was pist! my eyes felt fuzzy like a slight vibration. Alice gasped again. And so did edward knowing what she saw. What now! i calmed down a bit. "What...what is it?!" i asked my voice still slightley angry. "Esme can you get bella something to eat we need to talk to carlisle" edward said quickley. What was going on? I dint have time to ask before esme was leading me down stairs. I was confussed to say the least.

_**edwards pov:**_

"Edward im tired of waiting a human cant go two days without eating!" alice yelled at me in vampire frequincy. "I tryed alice what do you expect me to do break down the door?" i said tiredly. Its been this way since bella went up there i had tryed to urge her out many times and alice knew that. "Thats exactly what you need to do!" She snapped. The family was looking between me and alice as we talked. I just sighed. "Fine!" alice snapped "Ill do it you damn pansy!" "Alice!" esme scolded. But alice was already up the stairs at vampire speed. This is just great!

~knock knock~ no answer. _damn it edward your girlfriend is stubborn _alice thought at me. I had to smile becouse i knew that. Thats one of the things i loved about her. ~knock knock~ I heard bella slightley huff but other then that ignore alice. "Bella please let me in" alice begged thats not gonna work alice. No answer after 5 minute alice was going through every curse word in her head. I stiffled a laughter alice heard which pist her off more. "Isabella marie swan you need to get your skinny ass down stairs and eat now!" alice yelled through the door. A growl rumbled in my chest. _calm it down edward she is comeing to the door _alice thought at ? Sure enough i heard the lock click and the door open. Alice gasped she saw something but i was to busy watching the door through alices eyes to heard anything else. Bella stood in the doorway looking livid. Alice stepped back but bella stepped to her pokeing alice's chest with her finger. Leave it to bella to stand up to a vampire. "Dont you dare tell me what to fucking do you stupid bitch!" bella screamed. Uh oh! This was gonna get ugly. alice put her hands up just as we made it upstairs to them. "Bella..." i began reaching for her. "Dont!" she snapped i dropped my hand quickley. Her eyes began vibrateing slightley in there sockets. Wtf?! I had only seen that happen to.....jane! When she was going to torture someone. Oh god no!

_vison:_

_bella turned her glare back to alice._

_"grow up bella stop feeling sorry for_

_yourself" alice snapped. Bella's eyes _

_began to vibrate more and the next thing_

_i knew alice was on the ground screaming_

_and writhing in pain. "Bella no!" i yelled_

_she turned her glare on me i fell to the _

_ground in pain. Bella could keep more_

_then one person down her power _

_was beyond janes. As each family member _

_tryed to stop her they ended up on the ground _

_in pain. we were all screaming emmett included._

_none of us were capable of a coherent thought._

_when we came to bella was gone. I heard my _

_car rev up and take off. Just fucking great. _

_the family was pist becouse there mates_

_had just been attacked. Everyone turned there_

_glare on me except esme and alice._

_end of vision_

"what...what is it?" bella asked her eyes beginning to slow entell the vibration stopped completely. Thank god but i need to talk to carlisle now! "Esme can you get bella something to eat? We need to talk to carlisle" i stated nodded once at vampire speed. Placeing her hand on bella's back and leading her down the stairs.

Carlisle,emmett,rosalie looked at me confused. "Whats wrong son?" carlisle asked. I looked towards the stairs. "Your office" i stated quickley and we all made our way there at vampire speed. Once inside and door shut everyone turned to me and alice. "Bella..." was all i could say. They waited but when i dint respond they looked at alice who had a petrified look. I couldnt blame her the vision of our pain was unbearable.

"Alice hun are you ok?!" jasper said panicking a bit at the look on alices face. Alice was almost shakeing. "alice why are you feeling so much fear?" Jasper asked. rubbing his hand up and down alices arm trying to comfort her. She dint respond. "What the hell is going on?!" he said faceing his glare on me. So i explained alices vision.

"Wow why cant i have a cool power?!" emmett said slightley pouting earning him a slap to the head. "This isnt good" rosalie said. The rest just stared in shock at me.

Even carlisle my father for all intensive perposes and who always has an answer just stood there in shock his mouth slightly gapeing. Ummm what do i do even his thoughts were silent. Well it looks like my bella has some extreme powers.

* * *

**im so sorry for the short chapter but nobody reviews me ~sob~ so ya review ill wright. I need 25 reviews to continue. thank you**


	10. avoiding bella

_Alice hun are you ok?!" jasper said panicking a bit at the look on alices face. Alice was almost shakeing. "alice why are you feeling so much fear?" Jasper asked. rubbing his hand up and down alices arm trying to comfort her. She dint respond. "What the hell is going on?!" he said faceing his glare on me. So i explained alices vision._

_"Wow why cant i have a cool power?!" emmett said slightley pouting earning him a slap to the head. "This isnt good" rosalie said. The rest just stared in shock at me._

_Even carlisle my father for all intensive perposes and who always has an answer just stood there in shock his mouth slightly gapeing. Ummm what do i do even his thoughts were silent. Well it looks like my bella has some extreme powers._

_**chapter. 10:avoiding bella**_

_**edwards pov:**_

"when i was in the volturi the witch twins made a potion to bound someones powers" carlisle stated rubbing his chin with a heavy sigh. "Great" we all said in unision. But carlisle was still looking down. and alice looked down to. _theres always a catch_ carlisle said in his mind. "A catch what do you mean carlisle?!" i snapped. "Anything would be better then her haveing that power" rosalie said looking down. She was nice to bella these days but truth be told you could tell she was scared not only for herself and her family but for bella i read it in her mind. _she could get hurt we must do something she has no clue _rose thought. I smiled slightley at my sister. Her kindness for bella meant alot. "So whats the catch?" i asked my father. he looked down at his shuffling feet. blocking his thoughts i hated that. "What is it carlisle?! stop blocking your fucking thoughts!" i snapped. Carlisle looked up i read his thoughts and gasped "No!! I dont know about you but i would rather suffer at her wrath!" i shouted and i was the window and towards my and bellas medow.

_**carlisles pov:**_

Edward heard what i thought before i could say anything he dint let me explain there was always risks envolved in this kind of mental tampering. But now my family looked as if they just wanted to walk away without even listening if edward was opposed to it then they thought they would be to. And most likely they would be but i had to let them know the choices. "please hear me out before you leave please" i raised my hand to gesture them to stop beings they were about to turn and leave. "no dad" alice said haveing had a vision of what i was going to say. "Listen!" i snapped,they all jumped i never yell. But they turned and sat. "There are a few choices we have to fix this problem. 1. we can take her to the volturi and let them turn her so she can learn to better controll her po...." i was cut off by 3 loud no's from alice emmett and rosalie. "Are you fucking crazy they will kill her" rose shouted "dont you think she has been through enough shit you want to doom her to this life and with the fucking volturi at that?! You are fucking insane carlisle!" and she left to. as she was going down the stairs she yelled "fucking insane!"

_**esmes pov: **_

i heard the convorsation from upstairs and to say the least i was frightend. Then edward ran out the upstairs window and to the woods where he vanished from sight becouse of some unspoken words. Then they started shouting no and rosalie screamed at the top of her lungs at carlisle after he told them he wanted to take bella to the volturi i admit her power was scary but they would kill her. Bella noticed the shouting and looked up at the cealing and then at me in a silent quistian. "Its fine dear" i told her. Then i heard rosalie stomp down the stairs. "Fucking insane!" she yelled at carlisle. I was sure bella heard what she said as she got up to go see rosalie as she came down.

_**bella's pov:**_

i was eating my lunch as i heard rosalie yelling i couldnt tell what she said though i looked at the cealing wondering what was going on. Then i looked at esme with a quistioning look on my face "its fine dear" esme said with a smile but it dint reach her eyes i knew something was up i just dint know what. Then i heard someone stomping down the stairs "Fucking insane!" i heard rosalie scream. What the fuck was going on? Ok this is crazy. I ran to the stairs to catch rosalie before she could leave. "Rosali..." i stopped as i tripped over my feet waiting for impact but it never came. I looked up to see rose holding me with a slight smile on her face. "Clumsy helpless bella" she mutterd i dont think i was sopposed to hear. I put myself on my feet "im not helpless!" i snapped a slight tingling in my eyes. Rose looked slightley worried and everyone else except edward rushed down the stairs emmett pushed rose behind him. I stared at him in shock. The tingling anger vanished and was quickley replaced by confusement and shock. Why was emmett protecting her like a little human like me could hurt a vampire. And where was edward? and why did everyone have eather scared looks or sad looks on there face? "Um whats going on?" i asked. "She's fine" jasper mutterd to emmett. I figured he was talking about rosalie but i dint understand why.

the rest of the day was horrible everyone avoided me and edward wasnt home yet. I was misserable. I looked at the clock it was 5pm i had came up here at 3 and nobody had came to see if i was ok. I started crying i couldnt help it i felt as if everyone hated me that they dint want me here that now that i was recovering they wanted me gone. They had just felt sorry for me. So i grabbed my journal that i had all my 3 years of misery on. And i started scribbling fast in my sloppy script.

_dear,diary_

_I dont know what i did wrong they are all avoiding me they hate me. Nobody wants me im so pathetic why cant i be perfect like them? Mabe i will just kill myself carlisle had given me a bottle of prozac to help me with my depression. Mabe if i took that all and drank some vodka i could kill myself i wouldnt do it here of course i knew they hated me ad i wouldnt want them to have to be more disgusted of me then they already were. Mabe ill go out to port angeles and go to the liqur store. I could do it right there in the parking lot. Even edward hated me (SOB) I should have known that now that i was damaged goods he wouldnt want me. I wasnt good enough for him before now i was just like pig slop to him. Well i wont be there misserable charity case anymore. This will be the last time i wright in here i wont scum the pages with my pathetic words anymore._

_love'_

_isabella swan_

_ps. im sorry edward for ruining yer life and wasting your time_

_im sorry to the rest of you to._

_goodbye_

I put my journal on the bed upside down to hold it on that page so the cullens could see my goodbye and how sorry i was. Ok now to block my mind i dont know what im doing or where im going. Ok done i had to make sure alice dint see my plan entell i was outa here. Then i ran down stairs. Everybody flinching from my presence. "Um do you guys mind if i used a car?" i asked. They shook there head and jasper came up to me with a garded expression handing me the key to edwards volvo. we nodded at eachother and i went to leave "Dont be long sweetie" esme said. i just nodded. And ran out the door. Speeding down the road to my fate. Remembering this would be the last time i was going to drive i stuck my head out the window i had always wanted to do that. I was going so fast i read the sigh entering port angeles 2 miles. I wans upset at first but then i rememberd i would be makeing the cullens life better. So i smiled and sped up a little.

**So what did you think? is bella going to succeed in killing herself is alice gonna see anything before its to late? sorry for the cliffy.**

**R+R for the next chap. Love you all**

_**alices pov:**_

We had been avoiding bella all day i felt horrible she finnaly went up to her and edwards room around 3 it was 5 now. I heard sniffles


	11. AN: sorry

_**A/N: i know i hate these to but i just started collage so i really need a co-author to help wright some chapters couse i have a lot of homework and not much time since im a single mom of two. With yer help i can get these storys up and going and ill wright when i have time. Sorry to my fans.**_

_**XXtrinityXX**_


End file.
